Hesitant to provide evidence

aspeed,

You have my sympathies.

1: Domestic violence (although abhorrent and totally unacceptable) per se is not grounds for divorce. Unreasonable behaviour is. UB does not constitute domestic violence ... although DV can be UB if that makes sense.

There are many other posts on this site about grounds that can be used and how to disagree with them. I believe it is possible for you to agree to the divorce but disagree with the grounds if you see what I mean.

How long ago did you separate??

Is it too late for you to divorce her??

You talk about going to court - is this for the Decree Nisi?? Or is it part of the financial proceedings? Let us know where you are in the process.

I am afraid it sounds like you may have been used as a passport to the UK ... I am not familiar with immigration rules but I fail to see how painting herself as a victim of domestic violence would help an immigration case???

What evidence does she intend to provide? Are there police reports? Has there been a non molestation order??

2: Ancillary relief.

After a marriage lasting six months (and assuming you did not co-habit for many years before marriage) you should each take out what you put in. I do not see why you should not represent yourself (try to get away from language like "defend" - these are not criminal proceedings but are to ensure fair financial division). There are plenty of people on here who have self repped ... and there are solicitors - including the wiki lawyers (see divorce services) who will provide legal support to self reppers. Plus you have all the wikipeeps to advise and guide you.

Is your stbx co-habiting? That will weaken any case she may think she has even further.

3: Litigation misconduct - is where one of the parties drags things out unecessarily - fails to provide paperwork, omits vital information ordered by the judge etc etc .. the trouble is that family law is pretty flexible so LM is quite hard to get costs for .. but in my view it should be a lot more common for costs to be awarded. In other branches of law there is something called "vexatious litigation" - going to law just to be a nuisance ... that is what many wikipeeps (myself included) have been on the receiving end of but are powerless to fix it.

Finally would you let us know where you are in the UK? The rules in Scotland are a bit different and your location may affect the way the case is viewed.

Hadenoughnow

Yes it is UB on the grounds of DV and a number of other lies.

We have not been living together since the beginning of December and she stopped visiting me at the end of Feb. I do not know what constitutes to separation in the eyes of the law and how this might affect my situation.

As far as the divorce process goes I got the petition last week and I have until tomorrow to send it back to the court.

I talk about going to court because it seems inevitable that it is going to end that way if her intentions are to con me for a passport and a load of money.

She is here on a marriage visa and she has to get divorce before immigration will consider issuing her another one. She has to go out the country to reapply, unless she can convince them that she in danger and has found a safe place to live.

I have no idea what evidence she intends to provide unless of course she has concocted some. There is no police report as far as I am aware and no non molestation orders either. The evidence she does have is some exchange of emails where I admitted it was DV and that I would go to DV counselling. But quite frankly at the time I would have said I was Donald Duck if it would have appeased her.

If possible I am thinking of applying for a non molestation order myself in case things do not go according to plan and this provokes some type of outrage in her. She has already made some threats along these lines.

I suppose she officially lives with me because at the moment my local council tax office are not currently accept my application for single person discount for some reason.
Nonetheless I send all her mail to London here she lives I believe, although it does say on her myspace profile that she is off on her first family holiday so I have no idea where she is living precisely.

I do not know if it is too late for me to divorce her, she begged me not to get divorced originally so she could stay here to earn some money and would not return home with nothing.

Although I live in Hertfordshire the court where the petition was placed is in Stafford.

aspeed,

I guess you could counter petition if you wanted to .. but I would definitely take some legal advice before doing anything like that ... why don't you give the wiki lawyers a quick ring and see what they advise?? YOu can have a free half hour with them ... number is under divorce services.

It does sound like you are definitely being used for immigration purposes. Is it worth you speaking to the authorities I wonder .. let them sort her out rather than you having to do it. I am sure they have seen this kind of thing before.

The petition itself is just a formality. The court is unlikely to want to see you before it grants a decree nisi.
As I said before you can state that you disagree with her reasons but say you do want a divorce. It is possible that a judge may refuse to grant a decree nisi if you disagree with the reasons .. I suppose then you could simply put in your own petition for UB .. inclduing inappropriate association with another man (adultery is a hard one to prove if they don't admit it).

The main thing is that you do NOT want to be married to this woman any more; you do not want to be part of her schemes to fool immigration and you do not want to have to worry about her trying to get more money out of you ... so anything that delays that happening is to be avoided.

It seems odd that the local council tax office won't accept your single statius - I would try them again and explain the circumstances .. you could maybe write giving details of the date of separation etc. You could also give them the London address. It also seems odd that the petition was lodged in Stafford ... any idea why that is??

Do please speak to a wiki lawyer before doing anything else .

Hadenoughnow

Hi Aspeed


As always Hads advive is very good, one piont if your marriage lasted six months you must wait one year from the date of the marriage to begin the divorce, also if she is here on a marriage visa i belive the foreign office should be informed she may well have broken the conditions of the visa, as Had says talk to the family national law practice the numbers on the main page.

Hi Aspeed,

I work in immigration and know that the Home Office would be very interested in your marriage.
The copy of the Home Office file that you presumably still have has a case number which you can quote when you talk to them which I encourage you to do as soon as possible.

I would then inform the other side that you have contacted the Home Office re your marriage and subsequent events.
This should make them think and be , let's say, more amenable to reason.

The Home Office are very 'hot' on sham marriages and at the very least will put a marker on your wife's file.

Red XX

hadenoughnow wrote:

The petition itself is just a formality. The court is unlikely to want to see you before it grants a decree nisi.

I have some concerns about what to write on the form that came with the petition because I am not exactly sure on what action I will be taking. Is there anything on the form which I write that is final or can I later change my mind if need be. As I say that is my immediate concern as the form needs to be sent latest by tomorrow.

I would speak to a lawyer, but I am a man on low income and have absolutely no means as I spent all my money on getting married, visas, supporting us both and keeping her happy.

I am not sure why she chose to petition in Stafford, she said that she hunted around for the cheapest lawyer, but her boyfriend lives in the midlands so maybe he is helping her out. I know the company she works for also said that they have a legal team prepared to help her so I guess it could be any one of those reasons.

I do not know what outcome I want entirely. First and foremost I do not want to get in trouble with immigration or have this cost me any more money than it has already. It would be a very rough deal indeed if she gained entrance to the UK at the expense of both my pocket and reputation.

redoctober wrote:

Hi Aspeed,

I work in immigration and know that the Home Office would be very interested in your marriage.
The copy of the Home Office file that you presumably still have has a case number which you can quote when you talk to them which I encourage you to do as soon as possible.

I would then inform the other side that you have contacted the Home Office re your marriage and subsequent events.
This should make them think and be , let's say, more amenable to reason.

The Home Office are very 'hot' on sham marriages and at the very least will put a marker on your wife's file.

Red XX

Unfortunately despite paying for everything she took all files regarding our marriage with her. The only thing she left me was a just married Disneyland badge.

I will however be ringing the home office tomorrow to see what I can sort out.

Thanks for the reminder and the of course all your advise.