What Do I Do?

Hi there,

I just came across this forum and hopefully I could get some constructive answers to my everlasting problems.

I have been married for some time and we share a lovely young son together. The issue is that our marriage is not working out and I have tried for years to put it right. Unfortunately it did not go the way I intended. We live in a shared ownership flat where I own a perecentage and the Housing Association owns the remainder. My name is only on the mortgage. I work full time and so does my wife. However I have been paying all the bills leaving me with a few pennies. She has however not contributed to any bills and loves the idea of a high fashion lifestyle etc. She is very minuplative and tries using reverse phycology etc to get her ways. She can never sit down and talk. However I have had enough and want to leave but my son is my main concern.

I do not care about my possessions within the flat but only my son as he needs his dad and I do not want to create a gap in his life as my wife will definitely try to create out of spite. Simply, unfortunately, that is the type of person she is.

My question is: she has promised to pay the rent for last month but did not keep to the promise. This means that there is a deficit of a months rent. I have paid all other bills though. My salary cannot cope with any deficits.

Could I stop making payments to any future bills and just live in the property? I have had enough and it is time that i spend some money on myself, save a bit etc which i could not do for years? What is the implication, apart from the property being re-possessed at some stage, on me? I intend to go through a divorce by saving some money from non payments of the bills.

Any help is much appreciated.

Thanks
D

Hi Damien,

Welcome to wiki and I am sorry you find yourself here.

Sadly, by stopping paying the bills you would be creating more problems than you have now.

Have you tried to talk to your wife about the way you feel? If the marriage is really over, the best way to sort things out is to start divorce proceedings. Repossession is not the answer, your son would be without a home, as would you and your wife.

If you decide to go down the divorce route, post more information and the wiki members will help.

Kind regards,

NWTT.

Hi Damien, just another welcome and to fully endorse NWTT''s advice there: best not stop paying the bills. I am sure you will find this site very helpful as a source of advice and support. Anyway, just wanted to pop along and give another welcome.

Hi Damien

Just wanted to say welcome to Wiki.

I would advise against not paying the bills as NWTT has already stated, you would just be opening a can of worms.

I am sure that some of the more experienced Wiki''s will be a long shortly and will give you some more sound advice.

Take care

Thank you guys for the warm welcome. I am just in a difficult situation with no person to turn to. My wife, as I have mentioned, is not a person to sit and talk or listen. I will try my best and hopefully take some of your advice to heart.

I do want to continue paying the bills but I just cant afford the deficit that has been layed due to the wife not keeping up to her promise. What I intended to do is to move out and hoping that she will do the same and we can then talk about the care of our son. At present it is not possible for me to maintain the bills as i will have the bailiffs banging on my door for the outstanding amounts. To be honest my wife does not care as long as she has a place to stay and live a carefree lifstyle.

It is a sad thing to say but it is true. I hope I gain some more wisdom from you guys. Thanks again.

D