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Borderline personality disorder and solicitors

  • Pudge
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7 years 3 months ago #378960 by Pudge
Hi,

Hoping someone can help?

I have no doubt my wife has BPD and my life is becoming a living hell and that''s on a good day. I need to get out as i just can''t take anymore. We''ve only been married for 2 years and she bought nothing to the realtionship fiancially whatsoever. No doubt I''ll still get screwed financially with a divorce but I''m past caring now. My fear however is that we have a 2year old son and I need to come out of this with at the very least joint residencyas I have no doubt that her BPD will effect him over the years. She has 10year old son and I''m seeing now some scary signs as he''s turning into her!

I''ve discussed with GP 3 times and whilst he''s sympathetic there''s nothing he can or will do. I''ve also seen a solicitor but they seemed very dismissive and lacked understanding of the situation and so I came away completelyin the dark as to how this might play out.

Hoping someone can help here?

Many thanks,
Pudge

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  • blue_
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7 years 3 months ago #378961 by blue_
Hi Pudge


Has you wife actually been diagnosed with BPD?
If so was it her GP that you saw or your own?

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  • Pudge
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7 years 3 months ago #378975 by Pudge
Hi,
It''s my own diagnosis as she has every text book symptom to the extreme. We have the same GP and I tried to persuade to see someone but won''t. In fact any mention of seeking some help just seems to make her even worse. She admits she has issues but I''m banned from even discussing them and are told to just deal with it.
Pudge :-(

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  • Jellytots111
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7 years 3 months ago #378977 by Jellytots111
Replied by Jellytots111 on topic Re:Borderline personality disorder and solicitors
What about you reading and getting help with how to help someone with bpd .

Yes it''s could be hard for you living with her but if she has bpd don''t you think it''s a living hell living with it 24 hours a day ?

If she does have bpd and you leave her you know it will make her have a crisis as the fear of abandonment is one of the main traits. .

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7 years 3 months ago #378978 by blue_
BPD can go hand in hand with other mental health disorders such as Bipolar disorder.


It''s a shame that your wife doesn''t seek help though,my own experience of people with these type of disorders is they are very often in denial.

I would suggest in the first instance to contact MIND www.mind.org.uk/

They are a great organisation and will hopefully be able to offer good advice.

Your GP is right in that there ie very little they can do unless you have concerns for her safety or the safety/well being of your child.

Ps
Diagnosing a mental health condition is best left to the professionals.

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  • Pudge
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7 years 3 months ago #379082 by Pudge
I have no doubt that living with BPD is a also a living hell for her and please don''t getting me wrong as I''m not looking for an excuse to get out of a marriage. I actually still care for her very much and probably deep down still love her although that''s becoming now more out of duty than anything else. What do I do thou to help her help herself as I''m so tired and drained of battling this every single minute of the day. She''s alienated me from friends and family and I''m not even now allowed to talk to my own daughters without her being present and then the conversation being completely and utterly necessary. Work is becoming a major problem with her demanding that I work from home at very least 2 out of 5 days which is getting harder and harder to pull off. She wont get help, no one will intervene and so just to keep the peace and get through the day I have to pander to her every thought process and it seems I am just feeding her habit - the more I give the more she demands. Then when I step out of line she plays her ace card "leave me then if you can''t follow the rules and maybe I''ll let you see your son occassionally"

I can''t help her because she doesnt want to be helped and I understand that how she is is her coping mechanism.

My own health and sanity are rapidly deteriorating living with this and I need to start thinking about the children or they will end up with both parents having mental health issues.

Thanks,
Pudge

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7 years 3 months ago #379083 by Pudge
Hi,

Thanks and I will contact MIND today.

I appreciate that I''m not right in diagnosising these things from the internet but if she wont see anyone then I have no where else to go for information.

Lets hope MIND can offer some guidance.

Pudge

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