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In need of advice, please.

  • GalanKovacs
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7 months 2 weeks ago #509985 by GalanKovacs
In need of advice, please. was created by GalanKovacs
Hello all,

A very close friend of mine is in need of advice, unfortunately she feels too emotional to write about this, or browse the forum herself. As such I'm doing it for her.

She's been thinking of divorcing her husband. They have roughly ten years of history together and have been married for about five years. There are three children involved as well. One being his, from another marriage. They're aged 12, 5 and 3, the youngest two being hers biologically. Originally she moved here from Sweden, and has no family here aside from his family. She's a stay at home mother so therefore also has no job. The reasons for divorce are mainly incompatibility and a general change of character in both of them. They've grown apart and due to personal issues with mental health involved it seems to have only gotten worse. At this point it seems they're pretty toxic to one another. It's generally an unhealthy situation for both their mental states.

Her main concerns are on where to live, how to take care of her children financially if she does go through with it and she feels trapped in a sense. I was hoping people who have gone through this, or who have friends or family who have can offer some advice. How was it for them? Was it difficult to find your footing and to pick things back up? And how did your children take it? I've [url=Resources/Library/Cohabitation-and-Separation_s33_m1852.html ]not married[/url] myself, only separated from partners before so I'm lacking in advice, I'm there for her, 100% and will help with anything I can. I just don't know what advice to give her. Hence my coming here.

Thank you for reading this. I really appreciate it.

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  • LittleMrMike
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7 months 1 week ago #510073 by LittleMrMike
Replied by LittleMrMike on topic Re:In need of advice, please.
I see nobody has replied, so I will try.

Where there are dependent children involved, a Court, by statute, has to prioritise their needs.

In practice, this means that the parent with care - usually the mother of course = tends to come out better.

It is very important that your friend seeks legal advice.

The most important issue at the moment is how to get enough money to live on.

Here she has two lines of enquiry:

(a) maintenance pending suit - an interim maintenance order to tide her over and get some money coming in without delay.
(b) social security, both for herself and the kids. It is VITAL that you get your claim in a.s.a.p. Social security cannot be backdated.
See a CAB WITHOUT DELAY. There are all sorts of benefits she can claim, but no claim means no
cash. This isn't just about money, it's school meals, prescriptions etc etc, and I repeat, time is of the essence.

(c) Your friend's situation via a vis the house is likely to be a strong one.Prioritising the needs of the children usually means prioritising the needs of the parent with care.


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