I am stuck in a loveless marriage and have been for some time. Been married for nearly 20 years. I have wanted out for ages but have 2 sons so was waiting until they were old enough. They are now 17 and 15. My wife clearly dislikes me, shows no respect for me and we have not been intimate for years. She has never worked since meeting me, although when money was short I did suggest she should get a job. Her answer was always 'you said if we have children I wont have to work'. I never said that. She already had 3 kids before we met and 2 of them lived with us for years. I own my own company and we have a large house but we have no spare cash. When she divorced her first husband he got away cleanly and she has always joked that if we split she will take me to the cleaners. 'Don't get even, get it all' is what she says! There is no one else involved I just want out so I can find some happiness for once. My question is: with no spare money, what happens to the house? Will I have to move out and if so how will I pay for somewhere to live?
She gets everything she wants but shows me absolutely no respect or affection at all.
thanks for any advice.
It's good that you have been able to put up with her this long because you should get a much better deal than you are currently thinking. A lot of men nowadays who want to divorce wait till their kids are grown up as it changes how they are treated by the family courts.
Women are expected to work when they divorce and even if they don't they are assigned an earning capacity even if that's minimum wage.
The starting point for a capital split is going to be 50:50 of everything including property and pensions. Women with young children who don't work can argue they should get a higher percentage to house the children.
With your oldest son being nearly 18 by the time any of this get's sorted out he will be an adult so won't factor in this. This leaves your youngest son so both you and you're soon to be ex will have a housing need of a two-bedroom property each. So as part of the process, you can negotiate over assets and say for example one get's more of the pensions whereas the other get's more of the house equity.
\"what happens to the house?\" - Presumably, it's at least a three-bedroom house so it will be sold and the equity split for both you and your ex to purchase a two-bedroom property each. Given your kids are older there won't be any restrictions as to school catchment areas or the like so you should be fairly flexible.
\"Will I have to move out and if so how will I pay for somewhere to live?\" - Never move out until the financial agreement has been signed off by a court. The reason is that if you move out it puts your wife in a strong position to obstruct visits from prospective buyers and the like if she doesn't like the outcome of the financial split which if she's thinking she's going to get everything then it's pretty likely she won't be happy about it.
Depending on your ages you may be liable for spousal maintenance however this will only happen if you are a high earner. If your wife would be able to claim any benefits then under universal credit rules spousal maintenance is treated as unearned income and whatever is paid in spousal maintenance is deducted from what the government will pay out so there is no overall benefit.