I'd be really grateful for any solid advice on the following:
(1) My wife and I have known for a few years that divorce was an ultimate destiny for us both. We've kind of dodged finalising anything because I work overseas (UAE) most of the time so we are not in each other's pockets.
(2) Her Mum died in July 2019 and I am aware from historical information that she is in for a sizeable inheritance. She is, I believe deliberately, not processing this into money at this time (through probate etc) because I think she believes she can attempt to keep it out of the matrimonial pot.
(3) I have a pension, which is offshore, due to my long-term work in UAE and it is, I believe, outside the UK Courts jurisdiction.
(4) Our final financial pot, depending on your view, is made up of (a) Property Equity £260K, (b) Her inheritance £350K, (c) My Pension £500K and (d) bank cash £10K and finally (e) My state pension kicks in this year at around £8K per year.
(5) I am 65, not in great health and need to retire. I need to retire. My wife is 58 - hasn't worked for the past 30 years but is still of working age until she reaches 67.
(6) The divorce position at the moment is - My wife petitioned for divorce, We have agreed 2 year + [url=Resources/Library/Cohabitation-and-Separation_s33_m1852.html ]separation[/url], I have acknowledged the petition and agreed we should divorce. My UK solicitor has now asked for an enormous amount of paperwork regarding financial disclosure.
(7) My UK solicitor, who quite frankly I have little faith in as far as her protecting my personal interests, wants me to provide 12 months bank statements, pension valuations, etc, etc but has not previously made any suggestion that I should try to reach financial agreement with my wife. Yet on this website and others I have visited I appears the best route is by “agreement” and a form D81 consent order.
(A) I feel, in view of our personal circumstances, a reasonable settlement with my wife would be (i) Split the equity on our property, (ii) she keeps her inheritance, (iii) I keep my pension, (iv) we split any bank cash. Is this reasonable?
(Having already spent something like £2K in solicitor fees with local High Street type solicitors could, if I reached agreement with my wife, proceed after the Decree Nisi is available to simply close off the financial position with a from D81? If so, will this avoid the necessity of providing a mountain of supporting paperwork?
(C) Will a from D81 provide a final “Clean break” solution?
(D) Are any other forms needed to achieve a final agreed clean break settlement?
(E) Could I take up the services offered on this website and cancel ties with my existing solicitor?
Apologies for the lengthy and boring explanation. I really am struggling and need honest help. .Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
If you both agree, yes you can apply to the Court for a final financial order.
However, the Court will look at the assets and may ask questions, particularly if there is an unequal split of assets or the assets are of a different type. For instance a judge might think it more appropriate for their to be a division of pension and lump sum rather than one party keep one and the other party the other.
Your solicitor is stuck between a rock and a hard place as they cannot advise you upon the appropriate settlement until they know what the assets are. In order to know that they need the information that the Court would look at e.g. 12 months of bank statements.
If you were to say to your solicitor \"I don't want advice, I just need you to draft an order and apply to the court for an order by consent\" that would allow them to get the order (subject to any questions by the judge) provided that your spouse is in agreement.
we live in similar situations...your income has been tax free. How is your savings so little? If you’ve channelled it all into a pension then your wife should get half. You wouldn't have been able to earn as much as you have without your wife doing all of the work at home. If you have children then who has cared for them? I’m the mum here in the uk....it’s flipping hard work going it alone. You’ve had the benefit of a tax free income, a decent climate and a nice life style.
You can’t rely on her staying well and kind of work could she do realistically? Till she’s 67? And you want to stop work now?
You’ve benefited from her work at home...time to pay.
Can’t blame her for wanting to keep her inheritance to herself if this the game you want to play...why would she give you half? Besides my understanding is that inheritances are not part of the matrimonial pot, but I maybe wrong.
Interesting reply but what rubbish! What a totally distorted bitter view!
I've had the benefit of tax free income? - My tax free income has been sent back in full to my wife - \"going it alone so hard\" - at a rate of £3.5K - £4K per month. Despite asking her to tone things down she just demands more and more, to sit on her backside. That's the reason I've got no savings!
My kids are in their 30s. So my wife could have quite easily worked for at least the past decade - but she chose to milk my hard earned income instead. Maybe I should have also stopped work once the kids were offhand - where would that have lead us?
As for a nice lifestyle - there is nothing nice about \"going it alone\" in a strange country in heat of sometimes 45 deg plus and living in a meagre 1 bedroom flat, whilst my wife is having it so tough in her all expenses paid 4 bedroom listed country house. It is miserable and it is lonely and I have been totally foolish in suffering my wife's ongoing financial demands - in the hope that maybe this would make her happy and potentially make our marriage work!
You are clearly talking form a rather bitter position which does not reflect my own rather sad position.