Decree nisi awarded - mediation has failed. I now need to write a formal proposal for finances before issuing form A for a timetable as I understand it.
Together 14 years and married for 11.
I have 2 children of 19 and 16 who have always lived with me/us.
He has 2 children of 20 and 17 who have always lived with their mum until I left him and the 17 year old moved in with him.
My pensions of £92k were accrued pre-marriage as was my endowment of £30k due to mature in a couple of years. I also used £100K as the deposit for our first house pre-marriage and we had a declaration of trust which stated if we split this would be paid back to me and then other equity split 50:50. This was not renewed when we moved to property 2 or 3 as we were then married.
House is in the process of being sold - I could have gained an occupation order due to abuse but was too scared and went into a refuge then into rented accommodation. I am a full-time student and trying to live off universal credit. He claimed he was earning £3k per month during mediation but his bank statements showed between £5-£6k per month and he reluctantly conceded he earns around £5k.
Police currently involved due to ongoing harassment and coercive/controlling behaviour.
Marital pot including equity is £439K (this includes the £100K and £30K endowment referenced above)
My pensions are £91k and his are £235K - half of his predates marriage and half accrued during marriage.
He didn't want me to work full-time and not really part-time either. Once qualified I will earn £27K. He has always earnt in excess of £100K - he now has his own company from which he takes over £5k per month.
I will need around £400k to house myself and children and can get a mortgage of £105K.
I am 48 and he is 53.
What would be a fair suggestion in this situation? Happy to provide more information and very greatful for any help/suggestions.
£400k for a two bed flat? You probably need to consider living in a cheaper area as school for the 16 year old is no longer a barrier for you needing to be in a catchment and they can switch to a 6th form or college.
No I need £400k to buy. The overall pot including pensions is £775k. I could mortgage £105k in the future but am at uni at the moment. I’m more worried about being able to buy a house than pensions so was hoping to offset somehow. My solicitor said my need is bigger due to earning potential and 2 children. My eldest is having a gap year. It’s been awful as the abuse terrified me - police involved and I’m worried about what to do next. He was very dishonest during mediation and has told me during his last divorce he hid pensions etc from his ex. I don’t trust him and am torn between making a low offer he accepts to just get on with my life abs making a high offer to show him he can’t bully me any more.
If he is not disclosing assets properly and you feel he is not being fair or realistic about a settlement, you may find it is helpful to make an application to the courts. That way he is answerable to the judge.
It may well be possible to offset some of the pension from the marriage against equity. Your pre matrimonial contribution is well documented so you could argue for that to be taken into account.
Financial settlement on divorce is based on need. You need a home for the children. He has a much bigger income so therefore will have a greater mortgage capacity, despite the fact he is older.
In the court process you would each have to produce particulars of suitable properties as well as an assessment of mortgage capacity.
If you are training, you may succeed in an application for short term maintenance.
If the fmh sells, the proceeds should be held by a solicitor pending financial settlement.
I would strongly suggest you consider taking legal advice. You may find our fixed price services for litigants in person helpful.