Is equity share for consent order fair?

Background

• Length of relationship: 20 years, 13 cohabiting and 10-year marriage at point of separation in 2020
• The property: was purchased in 2007 and I left the marital home in August 2020 in to my fathers and continued to pay half the mortgage until February 2022.
• Mortgage/Ownership: Joint ownership, current mortgage £150k, value £260k, estimated equity £110k.
• Children: Two, both 8 years old
• New Relationships: She has been with a new partner for 2 years, they do not currently cohabit, but I believe this will be the case once we are divorced. I have been with a new partner for 3.5 years and we cohabit.
• Current situation: stbx lives in the property with the children. I continued paying toward the mortgage for 18 months after separation, whilst living at my father's. I stopped contributing to the mortgage 2 years ago, so I could afford to provide a home for the children when they are with me and currently cohabit. The school holidays are split equally and they are with me term time on average at least 10 nights a month.
• Divorce: Negotiations have been ongoing for 15 months; we are at the point where she cannot afford to buy me out on the remortgage and can only do so when at some point in the future the property is sold or it stops being her permanent residence. Agreeing to a backend position of the equity share supports her current housing and financial needs for her and the children.
• Income: Our income is roughly the same, mine perhaps a little more.
• Pensions: My pension is currently £10k and hers is around £5k, she wants half of my pension
• Liabilities: I have an £5,000 IVA debt and I believe she has debts of around £2,500
• My Proposal: I originally proposed £21k to buy me out on or before the remortgage in October 2024. She said she can't afford that, so I proposed £11k upfront and £10k on the backend. She refused and said she couldn't afford to buy me out until the property is sold, or it stopped being her main residence. On this basis, I do not feel that even £21k is fair and it should now come down to an equity split, say 70/30 in her favour at the point of sale.
• Her Proposal: She is proposing £21k out of the current equity of around £120k. I do not think this is reasonable given there will need to be a deferred sale and my share will be tied up potentially for several years to satisfy her current needs?
• The remortgage: The remortgage is due in October 2024 and she wants me to transfer my share over to her. I have been advised not to do this until we have a signed Consent Order, do you agree?

She will not evidence that she can't afford to buy me out and just says its not my concern and my name simply needs to come off the mortgage as it is her property. I strongly believe there is a chance she cant afford to remortgage on her own and she will need to remortgage with another person, but I cant say for sure as she won’t disclose any information. How does this affect me if there has to be a deferred sale?I would appreciate what your thoughts are on what is fair based on your experience and expertise. What is reasonable? Is £21k a fair amount? Is my suggestion of a 70/30 split on the deferred sale too much or not enough?

Will the lender let her have the mortgage in her sole name?

Would they lend her another £21k?

If you sell will she be able to rehouse herself and the kids?

Presume you mean she wants to equalise pensions as opposed to have half of yours? If you both really have so little in pensions probably cheaper and easier to offset it.

Don’t transfer anything to her until you have a court order.