Prenup

Hi, I would welcome some advice please before getting married.

My partner and I have been together 4 years but don't live together.

She wants to get married not live together for various reasons I won't go into now as that’s the situation I'm in.

She has 2 children (8 and 12); 1 from her previous marriage and the other from a different relationship. She gets child maintenance for one child but not for the other as she decided she didn't want the stress and abuse and various other reasons.

I have 1 child from a previous relationship (8) but I wasn't married.

She works part time and I work full time but not that many hours less than me.

She has been through a long divorce process which has taken over 4 years and is currently awaiting her settlement from her ex.

She agreed that if we get married, she would sign a prenup which seems like a positive sign but I've done a lot of research and spoken to various solicitors and it appears I still wouldn’t be fully protected if divorce were to happen down the line, plus they aren't legally binding and she could argue I forced her into it (which I haven't she suggested it) or it wasn’t deemed as “fair”.

She would get separate legal advice on the prenup.

I have a 4 bedroom house already and some savings and investments.

So the plan is for her to use her divorce settlement to buy a 3 bedroom house and rent it out. She would move in to my house with her children. The prenup would state that the 3 bedroom house is hers and 4 bedroom house is mine. Plus protect my investments, my pensions, state that no spousal maintenance would be paid etc.

So would that be seen as “fair” by a Court? Majority of my assets I earned before I even knew her. Could she claim that my house was the marital house and because she has 2 children and I have 1 that she should stay in it and I have the 3 bed even with the provision regarding the houses I mentioned above in the prenup?

Also what worries me is supporting her children, especially as one she doesn’t get child maintenance for but that’s her decision. Would a Judge look at that and make an order that I would have to support that child? She could give up work or lose her job and claim I need to support her?

I realise the safest option is not to get married but I wondered what other people’s thoughts were on my position and where I’d stand if the worst were to happen?

Anything else I haven't considered?

Thanks for reading.

As you are aware a prenup isn’t binding on a court so whether it ends up being completely, or even partially, used in determining a fair split depends to a large degree on the circumstances at the time and the length of the relationship.

Does she really want to become a landlord? If your relationship does fail will the tenants just quietly move out so she can live there?

Would it be better for her to buy a house and live in it and see how your relationship progresses? Plenty of time to commit to marriage in the future.

If you do decide to marry it may be better for her to buy into your house and invest the rest of her assets in something more liquid than property rather than becoming a landlord.