Dreams

Hi so the roller coaster is taking a downward turn currently found out yesterday that my date for Nisi is now not going to be the 10th as they said it would be it may be the 17th but could be after Christmas!!! It has been back from the judge since 19/11does it always take this long? I did ask them and they said they normally turn it around in 5 days but they are currently behind.

Also I am being plagued with dreams about my stbx and that he wants to reconcile!!!!! I mean he has showed no signs if this it''s practically the artic in our house and we haven''t spoken since August!!! I am waking up in a sweat each morning I know this is divorce is what I want I have wanted this for a long time I don''t love him we have nothing in common we argue all of the time it''s hell living with him and trying to be so perfect and up to his standards and not allowed to see my friends or family not allowed to have fun or find anything funny, he has constantly told me I need psychiatric help and that I have a drink problem, amazingly I only drink when he is around to blot him out, not allowed to be affectionate towards him only when he wants it and then it''s so clinical so why now these dreams?

I know how scary dreams can be in your waking hours but please try to ignore them. Do not read anything into them - it''s just your mind playing tricks on you, reorganising and experimenting with conscious and unconscious thoughts and dreams. Over the years i''m sure you''ve had all kinds of weird dreams - try not to think about it. Stay strong x

Sorry to hear about the delays, your living situation sounds so tense and hideous.
Re; the dreams, I imagine despite everything you feel and know about how bad the marriage is, part of you still wishes it hadn''t come to this. Despite hating my STBX, I still have dreams about being together and happy with him, but these are of a time many years ago.

Courts do seem to have a big back log. It took them 5 weeks to send out Directions from my partners last FDR

Courts are busy at the best of times, this time of year it seems worse still.

driven40 wrote:

so why now these dreams?

From what I remember we dream all the time. The only times we are aware of dreams is when we wake during them. At the moment you are suffering a lot of stress in your life. So its no wonder you are sleeping badly. Drinking wont help you. There is no answers in the bottom of the bottle. I know this cos I looked. Nothing there except more problems. Drink wont blot anything out except yourself.

But... We do have bad dreams when we are stressed. As our dreams reflect in a parallel way what we are experiencing in our waking moments. Perhaps in some deep way, you want this situation over and perhaps reconciliation is a way out.

The answer to relieving you of the bad dreams is to remove the stress. Sadly, this wont happen until you are out of this situation. Then slowly, you will find that you will wake less whilst dreaming and you will feel a lot better as you will be sleeping better. C.

Hi Marshy

thanks for your post, be safe in the knowledge that I no longer drink in large amounts or alone as I have found I don''t need to anymore I think I was just drinking because I thought I would never be out of being married to him, plus it was him buying it for me and then telling me i had a problem!

The good news is I have received my paperwork today with the date and time of my Decree Nisi on the 17th which to be honest feels like i have reached a massive milestone and that things are finally moving.

With the dreams I have decided to hit them head on I know I can''t get rid of the stress yet but I can have a blumming good go at getting rid of it at the gym, I have let the gym slip lately with one thing and another and I am going to get back on the treadmill and spinning bike and run it off