Christmas decorations ?

I read somewhere (runaway husbands?) that it tends to happen in the run up to the holidays and that seems true. My bombshell (well the first of many) fell at the same time and I was catatonic. Kids did everything - tree, wrapping, cooking, cleaning even though still quite young. Mind you that year we thought he wd be back.

Last year I had already done all the present buying when he left - used to start early and enjoy it. This year I have nothing to give my children or anyone else and no money either. Two kids have made modest requests when asked (a calendar for example) and the third can''t think of anything. It breaks my heart to realise how close to xmas we are and one of my children will have nothing from me (I will have to get something but what?). Who knows whether their father (who hasn''t seen them, has no money coming in at all but is still taking taxis) will produce an extravagant gift or not?

The kids did put up the tree the other day but the whole event was so laden with teenage trauma I can only hope that the lights etc cheer them up over the coming days because getting it done did not.

Hey ho. Tis the season to be jolly. Chin up everyone , we have to believe it gets better. I will be thinking of all of you x

I haven''t put up any decorations
I preferred Scrooge prior to the 3 ghosts.
Suckered into buying Bob Cratchett and bloody Tiny Tim the biggest Goose you''ve ever seen!!
bah humbug!!!

hawaythelads wrote:

I haven''t put up any decorations
I preferred Scrooge prior to the 3 ghosts.
Suckered into buying Bob Cratchett and bloody Tiny Tim the biggest Goose you''ve ever seen!!
bah humbug!!!

Pixy I got some cheap silver coloured twigs and other wooden bits and pieces for just a few pounds in a supermarket. They are long enough to fit in a vase on the floor and with a few tree lights around them it looks really effective.

I kinda go to town on decorating these days. Tree, vases, lights the lot!

What I can say to those choosing to opt out of all the decorating this year is that when you have endured the awfulness of grieving and loss at this special time of year, you really do appreciate all the Christmases that will follow in time when all this is behind you. It''s the little things I appreciate these days.

Last year was my first Christmas without stbx. I went to my brothers and as nice as it was the sadness that I felt overwhelmed everything. I got through it.

I love Christmas and have never lost the magical feelings that Christmas can conjure up in us. I was in York a few weekends ago and there was such a lovely feel about the place. The bells of the cathedral rang out, children eagerly queuing to see Santa and such pleasure from finding lovely Christmas presents for my family. It set the tone and I turned a corner. My mood lifted and i am so thankful that I have remained in good spirits ever since the visit to York.

My home feels lovely and we are all set for Christmas Day. I won''t be robbed of another Christmas. I know what I like and i have surrounded myself with some of these things. I tried to share my simply pleasures with my x but it was hard work and often disappointing. What a joy it''s been to fill my house with all that is Christmas and I have enjoyed every moment of it.

Merry Christmas to each and every one of you.

LG xXx

I struggle a bit to be honest.

The magic has gone somewhat.

I did everything…..and I mean everything.

Then I left everything. The decs from my childhood, the decs my kids made, their stockings, everything…..to do with Christmas and everything else too. Each year at this time feels like I am being mocked for my decision.

But…..I am recovering slowly, this year, my children chose our tree (normally I''m a complete control freak on the tree thing I''ve realised) and it was a very, very funny experience….and it is so lovely, if a bit lopsided (I didn''t say that). And year by year they choose a new decoration or two each so we''ll get there.

Happy Christmas Wikis.

wli

I can''t say I did everything.

He used to help get down the decorations etc. He used to help on the day, carve the turkey and so on. He was good at tidying up afterwards (much better than me).

But every single year I used to get in a real strop as xmas drew near. I am not blaming him for this. I used to start gathering in gifts for all and sundry more or less as soon as the kids went back to school. The rule was no talk of xmas w the kids before 1 Dec, but secretly I had already done much of the work by then. We often had family staying, and usually a dozen people for lunch on the day. It was nice, though in retrospect maybe there was a bit too much of ''mein host'' about it - we were the ones with the big house, and I liked to have the decorations just so, maybe we seemed a bit smug.

The main strop was that my x would never engage with my anxieties about whether we had the gifts etc right. Were the quality and quantity about evenly distributed amongst the children? Were we sufficiently generous to in-laws etc. I used to do all the thinking and buying but I was insecure about it and wanted a second opinion, or reassurance. It never came and I got increasingly irate as time ran out.

In later years this was. And by the end the two of us would be wrapping presents together on xmas eve in stony silence, me anxious about everything and resentful that I had done it all alone. Including selecting gifts for the children to give him, and some for him to give them to give me (when they were little, tho they usually made stuff for us which was much nicer).

This year, no reassurance. On the other hand, no gifts! Kids have done all the decorating and will do much of the cooking. If last year is anything to go by they will also wrap any presents from me while i weep. (brilliant mum, eh?)

I am not sending any cards either. Bollocks to the lot of it.

If I had any money I would take off somewhere sunny this year. Not that my kids would like it: they want everything to be the same as every year. They don''t talk about missing their dad, but they must do. Unlike them, I have seen him in recent months and (see my thread about getting uglier) I am finding I am missing him less!