Christening without my consent?

I just thought that I would add my comments on this subject. We have 5 children together. The 4 eldest all had "Humanistic" Naming Ceremonies when they were about a year old.

Our youngest child was only 10 months old when my ex-husband left. I want to have the same ceremony for my daughter as I feel strongly about welcoming her into the family.

My ex's family have always been fairly distant and really have little to do with us as a family unit; even more so now that he is marrying someone else.

I am still trying to decide how to approach the whole Naming Ceremony thing to be honest.

I know that I want my ex to play no part in the ceremony and some of you may see that as unfair. If you know me you will know that he intimidates me just being in the same space as me.

This day should be about celebrating my daughter and welcoming her to the family. I think that he has lost the right to be part of this. He sees her approx 12 hours a month, doesn't know her at all. Her birthday only proved the point. My daughter is just 2 years old and I want to sort the ceremony out soon.

Do I invite his parents and his siblings to the ceremony? I honestly don't think so. They seem to have chosen to divorce their grandchildren, neices and nephews as much as their son and brother has divorced his children.

I want to have a ceremony with it just being me as the parent that promises to always be there for my daughter with the love and support of my family and her special friends that know her more than her father ever will.

I want to do this before I become part of a couple and feel I want to involve a partner in the ceremony. This is about the people that will always be there for my children.

Is getting a child christened any different? I guess it all depends on the strength of faith or whether it is purely something people just do as part of having a child.

That is why my children have all had a "Humanistic" ceremony because I am not religious and therefore see no point in a christening. If my children choose to have a religion when they are older I will support them but until then I will just celebrate their coming into my life and the miracle that they all are.

I guess the question some of you may ask is what if he wanted to get her christened or have his own naming ceremony?

In all honesty that would involve him not being selfish for once in his life, putting someone else first and taking time to organise it all. His sense of family is not the same as mine and I really don't think he would bother about it.

As for his reaction if and when my children tell him about me organising one for our youngest daughter without his presence - who knows, he may well quick off, but what can he do?

It is a big debate about each parent having Independent Parental Responsibility. I care for my children 99.9% of the time, he gives them 12 hours a month, his choice (and I underline his choice) how can he have the same powers as me when he doesn't really know his children at all?

Sarah

Hi LB. I can understand that you are angry over this. But its a small thing in the scheme of things. And what harm does it do? Divorce is hard enough without making it harder. The child will decide later on what it wants to do and believe in. But you dont have any right to force your beliefs on another. Thats moraly wrong. I would say chose your battle ground and only fight for things that you have some chance of winning. Sorry this may not what you want to hear. C

Christening in the Church of England is fairly meaningless in the long term... and I speak as a member of the church!

Christening just means that other people will help support the child in the years to come as a secondary member of the church BUT they don't become a member in their own right until their confirmation, which needs their co-operation and consent...

Don't get het up over this, as its really not that important

I wasn't christened and I suppose I am a fairly devout atheist.

But I think this is a trivial thing really. Lots of children are baptised as a social event. I know many of my friends were, and most of them have no idea who their godparents were.

If your husband was proposing to take your child to church every week that would be different as you clearly have opposing views.

But I don't think you should assume he is a hypocrite. I shouldn't think there are many churchgoers who have never done wrong. In fact most churches are built around the fact that humans commit sin and need forgiveness.