Saturday like no other

Well how much did I learn this weekend!! ?

If I said I learnt more about myself and humanity than I ever have before it would be an understatement.

I had arranged to meet some friends in a bar for a few drinks and during the evening I popped out to have a smoke and got talking to a girl while outside. While we where talking a homeless person approached us and asked for a cigarette and we got chatting and to cut a long story short we ended up walking with her to a stairwell in the multi story car park where she ''lived''.

There we met three other homeless people, one being only 15. We talked about how they ended up homeless and there stories where heartbreaking, and the girl I was with became quite upset.

One had been in the army and when he left he just couldn't cope with normal life and was an alcoholic who had 6 months left to live, he was 37

The other two story's are why I am writing this on a divorce site,

First the male, he was 48 and had been on the streets for about 3 years, and when I asked him how he had end up here, his answer was '' I got divorced'' It turned out that his wife had, had an affair and then he suffered from depression over it and then lost his job and house and then also turned to drink.

The female, Miranda, She was abused both physically and mentally by her husband and her husband also used to hit the children which she has now lost and I cannot tell you how upset she was when she was telling us this. It was awful it really was.

We spoke to them for about an hour and then asked if they had eaten at all which they said no to, so myself and the girl I had met walked around the town and due to the time it took us quite a while to find somewhere open but we found somewhere open and returned with a bag of food and some drink for them.

When we opened the door into the stairwell they where all huddled together asleep on the floor and as I put the bag down one woke up and then woke up the others with the words ''wake up, they have come back''

I handed them all some hot food and the older man was crying when he took it and said '' I never knew people like you really existed''

That has to be the best thing any person has ever said to me.

We sat and chatted for about another 3 hours, we learnt more about there life, the way they are forgotten about, the humiliation they feel when they have to beg for food, and how people normally treat them.

If only Wiki was around for them when they needed it most, but more importantly how many people has and will Wiki save from this life?

Next time you see a '' homeless person '' think how lucky you have been,

We all have a few life changing experiences and this was without doubt one for me.

Hi Pheonix,
Have to say a story such as that brings everything back down with a good old bump.

I suppose the usual idea of the 'homeless' is they just do not want to conform. Clearly listening to your experience, divorce and the breaking up of relationships could play a higher percentage in that community than is realised.

To get through such a traumatic time in our lives, the most important thing is support and kindness. The ever ready ear from a friend to listen to us. Sad they never had that luxury. Probably would not be able to get onto the internet anyway.

I know reading posts on here that exes are not thought highly of, but I am sure that living on the streets is not something we would wish upon them.

Did they have any children??

I should imagine you came away from there feeling quite humble, I know I would have.

When I went to Dulin a year ago, there was a downand out sat on the side of the pavement, we had just been to MacDonalds, (not somewhere I like to go but we were starving and there was nowhere else open at 11pm) I gave him my burger. And sat on the pavement with him. My husband was quite surprised at my actions.

We used to have a homeless chap in our local town. He used to just walk around, not bothering anyone, I wanted to ask if he wanted a bath and some clean clothes, but felt quite frightened to ask him that question. People knew him and used to give him sandwiches and hot cups of tea. But when I used to drive home from work, I used to think, I wonder where he goes at night. He was not a drunk, he was not abusive. I just wish I had extended abit more kindness than a sandwich!!! Perhaps he was the debris from a broken marriage.

I dont expect they will ever be able to claw themselves back into a normal life. It is so sad.

zara

Nice one phoenix. well done mate.

That is so sad I am sitting here in tears, where is the help for these people?

I do know that where I come from the press wrote a bit about the homeless on the streets, I was always one that would put some money in their collection, but after reading the bit in the press I stopped, some now I am not saying they were all the same were making about £60-£80 per day and they weren't even homeless but could make more money that way than working, so it kind of put me off as you don't really know who genuinely needed the money.

Special dad, There is no need to say well done, and to be honest if I hadn't of gone through divorce I'm ashamed to say I'm not sure if I would of gone with them. Divorce has made me look at things and people through different eyes and I was shocked that two of them where there through divorce and realised how important Wiki is to people.

Phoenix,

I think that what we have all been through has made us different people. I know I look at life and people so differently, I truly believe I am a better person for the experience I have been through however painful that may have been and I have learnt so much.

Poppie x

Hi I have worked with the homeless for six years. The ones I worked with were 16-25 year olds and singles. I worked in the hostel.
The majority were either :
1: parents had divorced and they didn't get on with the new step parent.
2: children living with single parents who couldn't cope with them.
3: naughty out of remand centres for petty crimes.

Each one had a different story. They loved it if you spent the time to listen to them. I have de-nitted, bathed wounds and sores. Accompanied girls for abortions, sexual health clinics and even dental appointments. There own mothers aren't interested most of the time. We used to spend a great time of time and effort trying to bond relationships with the parent and child but the parents were often out reliving their youths down the local clubs - awful!

Lots of drug abuse, very low self esteem, they would have sex for comfort with each other it was pitiful.
Whilst working in the hostel I used to do cooking, and cleaning with them, told them why they should change their beds and not sleep on a bed with no sheets, the delight on getting into a bed with freshly laundered sheets is sheer heaven. We had kids who didn't know how to wring out a dishcloth because they had never seen their mothers do it.

God and give one of these kids a baby, they didn't have a clue it was pitiful. In one way it was the best job I ever had in another it opens you eyes to the what happens after divorce to the kids and from my experience - 6 years and I think I can count on one hand the kids who had a mum and dad living together! honest!

The great thing is when years later, one will come to visit and they have their own wife and child and they have a job and they want to come and show you their little family. or you'll walking down the road at midnight and you here oy Carrie thank you!

I have had people come up to me in restaurants etc years later and thank me for my time spent with them when they were a teenager.

Well done Phoenix for although you had a life changing experience you made their life better for a while.

Its never too late to help and offer them an opportunity, even if they don't accept at the time, if you plant the seed in their seed some day it will grow into 'their' idea.

We mustn't let our teenagers end up in this growing band of dysfunctional of people - that must be the top priority when we divorce. The children's future self esteem and happiness.