Just out of interest

how many of you, if any tried going to relate prior to divorce, did you go together alone? I've been myself and with stb Xh and now he is going alone (same counsellor) did you find it of any benefit?? ta

We tried Relate - I found it ok, although found it difficult to warm to the counsellor we had. They really do just sit there, waiting for you to work the answer out for yourself. If she had said something to acknowledge how difficult we found it, discussing the intimate details of our relationship, then maybe I would have found it more helpful. I found it impersonal and quite cold. Perhaps with a different counsellor, it would have been quite different.

However, if nothing else, we would spend the hour after our appointment crying and talking in the car before we went home so at least we got some benefit!!

I would say it's always worth a try. It didn't save my marriage but then, I don't think anything would have. My ex did say he would go back for counselling on his own. I prefer a glass of wine and a sympathetic friend!

Deb x