Children divorce guilt

Hi jack2
I am new to this site, How do I look up all your posts so far ?

Mahua

Mahua,

Visit Jack's profile by clicking 'Profile' under his name next to each post he makes.

When you get to his profile page you should see a list of his posts near the bottom.

Thanks

Hi Mathua,

I am a female, just using the name Jack to try and protect identity.

We can speak through the forum or you could send me a private message if you wish by clicking on 'send message' when you view my profile.

Regards, Jack

Hi jack2

Have just read all your posts..ours seem to be quite similar sitations except that you've put up with yours for double the time that I have.

It is a relief to finally admit that yes there is covert physical threat.. mental and emotional blackmail and abuse
but it is amazing how the same person shows such a friendly face to the outside world .
He has been called the near perfect father and husband by most people we know... but only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches..
I feel helpless and hopeless at the moment..he keeps saying I am depressed ( surprised ? No!)..but it is the chicken and egg question here ..depression came first or marital problems ?

He has also threatened that he will "not give the kids over to a depressive " while him being the one who is violent, has threatened to crash the car over to kill everyone..kill himself etc etc...
How can I hold up a mirror to him ?

I feel the same as you do jack2.. even if he resolves to change I WANT OUT.. there is only a feeling of intense indifference towards him..not even hatered...
It feels liberating to finally write all this down however pathetic it makes me sound.. being party to such a marriage...
Maybe I am the one who is a difficult person to live with, they do say
It takes two to Tango... well.. THE DANCE IS OVER !

Please don't think you sound pathetic.

I think there are many peple on this site who have lived in an abusive relationship that will agree it is not us who are pathetic but the people we live with who control us to a degree that we find it hard to leave as they cannot survive without us.

Hopefully, we will be able to show just how strong we are by leaving the relationship.

Jack

Thanks Jack2.
It will be nice to have someone to talk to about things , someone who is going thru it all and give strength to each other just by listening.
mahua