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Forcing a settlement

  • patientlywaiting
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11 May 12 #330038 by patientlywaiting
Topic started by patientlywaiting
My partner and I met after her husband of 8 years (they had been together for 15) was caught having an affair with a woman 15 years his junior. They had met in the Roman Catholic School where they both teach. My partner and her husband understandably have a very acrimonious relationship relationship because of this (the affair came as a bolt out of the blue from an anonymous caller which he first denied and then denounced in October 2009). The relationship is is compounded by the fact that he refuses to have anything to do with his former wife and does not communicate with her on any level about anything. They have two children 6 and 8 which she grants him plenty of access to. Despite this he still took her to caught as he wanted more access which would break the children''s routine (he lost the case as it is was found to be not in the children''s interest and was very obviously financially motivated).

He left his wife in debt and struggling. She was forced to sell the house, the proceeds of which are now sitting in a holding account and she is forced to live in a rented small two bedroom house with no outside space whilst he enjoys a large residence and attached grounds with his new partner and their baby. My partner works part time and is unable to drive so cannot move out of the area as she does not want to interrupt the children''s life any further. He lives with his partner in a less expensive area; both of whom are in full time employment).

He consistantly refuses to acknowledge any solicitors letters and will not reach a settlement. All the costs of the divorce (a decree was granted over a year ago) and the sale of the house has been paid for by my partner (his ex wife).

My partner is intimidated by him and despite her encouraging as much access to their father for children, we have evidence that he is trying to turn them against their mother and threatening to take them from her quoting ''...you won''t see them for dust!''. On some weekends when he has had access he has refused to bring them back.

All that is happening so far is she is spending money on solicitors (so far two) who charge her for letters which are sent and subsequently ignored.

My question is Can he be forced to reach a settlement via a court order and what %age can she expect? How does she go about getting this off the ground?

Any suggestions would be appreciated

  • Fiona
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12 May 12 #330146 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
She (or a solicitor on her behalf) would need to apply to court for a for a financial order. It''s impossible to say how assets could be shared without knowing the details - value of any assets held in joint or sole names, their liabilities, respective incomes, duration of the marriage + any co-habitation before, ages, the number of children, their ages and the number of nights they spend with each parent.

As far as the children are concerned your partner can counter any denigration by not reacting if the children say they have been told negative things and reassuring the children they are wanted and loved. The children should be encouraged to see things how they are rather than believe everything they are told.

When children aren''t distressed it may be better to accept they aren''t returned when they should be if it is just a matter of hours. If they are distressed or not returned after a day or so your partner can apply to court as an emergency and the court can order their immediate return.

Hope that helps. :)

  • patientlywaiting
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12 May 12 #330185 by patientlywaiting
Reply from patientlywaiting
Thanks! This has been very helpful. Neither my partner or me ever say anything bad about their father in front of them and don''t react to his bullying tactics. They are reassured at every opportunity about how much each parent loves them by my partner.

They cohabited for six years before marrying and spent a further 8 years together before the bombshell landed. He earns 40k and she is left struggling on 15k plus tax credits. He contributes only the bare minimum permitted by law through the CSA. Other than this the only other contribution is football kits for the football team he is obseesed with.
There was £70k in equity when the house was sold. She supported him through his training for a new career prior to their marriage. The new career on teaching entitles him to a genorous pension scheme.

He personally amassed 10k of debts for which she foolishly took out a joint loan to pay off.

What form do we need to put this in motion?

Thanks again

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