Lost my children

Thank you for that encouraging note, I certainly hope so but have grave doubts about my son. He adores his Dad and has very little respect for me.

Not sure what your circumstances were but I have a similar situation. My wife left me and my two boys over 3yrs ago. The boys were 15 at the time. It was all very unexpected as we had been married for over 20yrs and despite the usual ups and downs everything seemed ok.

Unfortunately, my now ex wife decided to have an affair with a guy at work and eventually left the marital home. All very sad and traumatic at the time.

The boys chose to live with me and they are now preparing for university. My life has moved on but unfortunately my ex has struggled with life. Her new man has not turned out to be Prince Charming and she is in a difficult place.

The boys did break off contact when she first left and had very little contact thereafter with their Mum for the first 2yrs. They kept their views to themselves but I could see they were hurting. Over the last 18 months there have been signs of reconciliation mostly from their Mum but they are taking it very slowly .

I do not think you have lost them for good. I suspect it will take many years for the three of them to speak, touch and perhaps love again but time is great healer and maybe this is how you should look at it.

My two boys tell me that they are not ready to fully forgive or forget yet and I acknowledge that they see it differently to me. Take your time, do not forget birthdays, Xmas etc and perhaps ask to have lunch with them once a month to start and then see how you all get on.

Best Wishes.