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another reconciliation that didn''t work!

  • downhearted
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20 Jul 12 #344294 by downhearted
Topic started by downhearted
Hi everyone
Well iv been here before :(and it doesnt get any easier the second time around.
We separated for 2 years after his afair, got divorced.....got back together........and yes you guessed it!!!! He did it again!!!
After all the promises he made!!
How stupid am I!!!
I''m all over the place, hes been gone a week, went on Friday 13th, what a day to find out.........actually i packed his stuff into bin liners and threw them in the porch.
Have spoke to the other woman.....didnt help at all....it never does, does it.....she''s a right b*tch!!!!
This is driving me crazy, i havent ate or slept......even thought about going to sleep and not waking up!
Can someone please, please help me!!!!

  • leftwondering
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20 Jul 12 #344301 by leftwondering
Reply from leftwondering
I''m sorry it didn''t work out downhearted, but I suppose it''s that old saying about leopards and spots.
How long did you get back together for?
Was it the same affair partner?
Did he tell you openly or cheat behind your back?
Anyway, I know you must be feeling terrible regardless.


  • stresseduk
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20 Jul 12 #344302 by stresseduk
Reply from stresseduk
Sorry you are going through this. Please look after yourself. all i can say is these cruel people do not deserve your pain.Go out with friends or family, to get away from the house. I am 18mths down the line and there is a brighter future without the pain. I have met a lovly man who i knew before meeting x and am looking forward.Love yourself xx

  • sillywoman
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20 Jul 12 #344309 by sillywoman
Reply from sillywoman
Downhearted - you gave him another chance, he blew it. You are a far superior person and he is worthless.

Walk away with your head held high and your digity intact.

My ex was a serial cheater and I took him back on a regular basis until the last time.

Yep its hard to get over it, but you will and you will realise it is nothing to do with you but everything to do with him.

  • donkler
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20 Jul 12 #344338 by donkler
Reply from donkler
How long did the reconciliation last?

I for one, never realised how difficult it could be, but then mine was one sided.

For me, it made me realise I had no life, I eventually snapped when her behaviour didnt change and I got rid. (I think she wanted me to do the dumping for the guilt thing)

This was a huge turning point for me, I was willing to try but my wife wasnt, she stuck to her cheating ways and kept on telling my lies.

So see ya - wouldnt want to be ya. Litterally.

As far as shes concerened now, I have disappeared from the facce of the earth - me no talky.

All the best, you deserve better and will acheive alot more in your life :)

  • Now Gone From Wiki
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20 Jul 12 #344360 by Now Gone From Wiki
Reply from Now Gone From Wiki
First things first downhearted it sounds like you are in the grips of a depression. If you haven''t already done so get down to your doctors and get help. There is nothing shameful in asking for help when you need it and by gosh it seems like you need it.

You also need to talk about it to people who care. Ring your friends, talk to the Samaritans (08457909090), write a book about it - whatever you need to do you must get talking. Talk until YOU are bored of talking about it and then you will be on the road to recovery.

It isn''t easy and what he has done is disgraceful, unjust and perhaps even evil. What he did was his choice and you cannot tear yourself apart with ''what ifs''. You need to survive this period until you are ready to fight the fight again.

In the long run, the best way of striking back is to find a way to become happy and healthy.

I wish there was more I could say or do but I can''t do more than send you some virtual hugs so here they are ((((HUGS))))

  • Crumpled
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20 Jul 12 #344363 by Crumpled
Reply from Crumpled
Hi DH how absolutely awful for you to have to go through this process twice.
I can fully understand why you reconciled as i dont really know what to do with my stbx at the moment
but how appalling for you that he has done exactly the same thing again.
These adulterers are cruel callous people who are only meeting their selfish needs and not thinking at all about anyone else.
No one can tell you what to do only you can work through this but please find a good counsellor and talk things through with them for your own sanity.
Sadly I dont think a leopard does change its spots.........lots of love

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