Hello

Hi, thanks for your comments. His car was purchased within weeks of him leaving the family home, half on his credit card, and half on interest free credit agreement. The point of him moving in is because he has nowhere else to go. I can not afford to buy him out as we still have 90k outstanding. The children do not want to move, they are already unhappy that the house has to be sold in 6 years time. As for the new gf entering the house, I really hope she would have more courtesy, but I wouldnt put it past her, shes already offered to ''have a chat'' with me if it would help. Yeah, like I got loads to say to her, lol. Whatever happens its not fair on the children, it will be a disaster:(

Well I was hoping the was the case, but I have no idea of how long is acceptable, its been nearly 6 months, long enough in my opinion. Trouble is, this is on the advice of his solicitor. My thoughts are, if he can afford the car, the holidays, new clothes, fancy restaurants etc, surely he can afford somewhere to live? As soon as he left he told me I was nothing to do with him and not his problem, now I have to help him
out

Really horrible. My ex moved out and in with his new girfriend but refused to hand his keys to our house back so that I could have privacy and family life.

This went on for 6 months, him coming and going and me being frightened to death by his conduct and false allegations and threats before I decided to take control - the final straw being when he told me that he was coming round with our old business partner and that I had to let them both into the house - so not dissimilar to your situation.

I paid for a locksmith to come in and change the locks - 6 months is long enough.

I would take with a huge pinch of salt the stuff about parents and terms of mortgage - the house belonging to the kids because of his girlfriends husband dieing. It will not be terms of the mortgage as children are unlikely to take on a parents mortgage debt and anyway they sound like they must be young.

It might be that on death the house was transferred by will for the benefit of the wife (maybe it was held in the husbands sole name) and the children jointly.

I am thinking now that if the husband died that maybe there was an insurance payout.

You can find out the truth about whose name is on the house deeds by doing a search at the land registry. To do this you log on to the site, you need to know the address and postcode, and for £4.00 you can get the details - owners of houses are public domain as is any interest registered in trust I do believe.

I am worried that you are basically being scammed by a calculating stbx and a clued up legal team.

If I sound cynical it is because I am - I have been subjected to just about every legal trick in the book by my ex, his girlfriend and now new wife (btw when he moved in with her he stated on his financial E that it was because of "need" not because he was in a relationship with her).

Trust your gut instinct here. I know it sounds risky but doing nothing and letting him move in sounds far far worse - I can see the writing on the wall he is going to come at you time and time again and she is also showing signs of doing the same.

Find out the truth about the OW property, log on and do that tomorrow - you may find you begin to beat them at their own game or you might find that your husband has been telling the truth.

If you get this into court you will get a bit more security.

Have either of you petitioned for divorce yet and if so on what grounds?

Why don''t you play the''in the best interests of the children''game .This seems to be what everyone throws at us .
There is no way that him moving back in would be good for the kids ,the stress and upset would be unbearable for them.
He could sell his car and get an old banger and a flat to rent - he does not need to move back in .
Take care x

Hi,
Thanks for you reply, you certainly have been put through the mill!! I have been in touch with my solicitor today, and there is nothing she can do at the moment. I am having a lock put on my bedroom door tomorrow. It was him who filed for divorce on the grounds of UB. although I could of, for adultery. The first part of the divorce is this week.

As for the gf house, I have now idea of the address or postcode. Her children are older, 18 and about 21 I believe. I know her ex did get killed in a work accident, I have seen newspaper story about it. All I know is what my ex told me, it is not her house it belongs to her children, and she is not allowed to have any partner move in with her. I''m guessing maybe the insurance/compensation went to them aswell, as she had already split with him before the accident. Both her children have brand new cars, in fact, the 18yr old just had one for her 18th, with a personalised number plate, she hasnt even had driving lessons yet!! Both children go on expensive holidays and appear to be living a life of luxury. The whole lot of them seemed to be obsessed with flash cars, now my ex has joined in.

All this has happened because I changed my mind about signing an agreement he had drawn up between the two of us. I refused because of his change of attitude towards me and the children over the last few weeks.

All I can do now is to call his bluff, but somehow I think he means it.

Thats exactly what I think, but he wants a house so he can have the children stay, more like so she can move in with him I think! As for his car, dont think he''d be happy about driving an old banger now that he has his pride and joy.....mid life crisis, lol x

Hi

I think he is putting pressure on you to sign, the golden rule of the game is do not be pushed it signing anything too quickly without thinking them through and not without a court order.

I am not too sure about the issue that he cannot live in the house, because it belong to her kids, my ex moved the bloke she had the affair with, in within 2 weeks of me leaving I still owned half of it if only I could of stop that!, they do come out with a lot of crap when they have affairs, maybe her kids don''t want him living there? maybe the grass is not as green as he thought? or he''s doing it to put pressure on you? but stand your ground do not be bullied or blackmailed. There is little you can do to stop him coming back, but good idea to have a lock on your door.

It all sounds strange, it is common that they make threats that they do not follow through

Take care