Worried and sad

Hi everyone, just come across this interesting site by chance. I am divorcing my husband after 6 yrsnof marriage and together for over 25 yrs. We have/had a very successful business, beautiful home, big cars, money etc etc. My husband has totally changed towards me over the past few yrs and I do not like him anymore. After caring for my terminally I''ll mother for 15 months on my own, she sadly passed away in December last... My uncaring husband was not there for me at all. He gave me no support and it was the straw that broke the camels back,,,, he was rude , verbally abusive and aggressive towards me in front of our 2 children aged 12 and 18. My 12 yr old daughter actually asked if we could leave as she could see how unhappy we all were. We left on 2 jan 2012 and considering we have no money, no car, we are happy. My husband continually abuses me on the phone or by text message and has been doing since January. I have a solicitor and im going through the motions of divorce which I don''t know much about at all. I am the typical woman who ran the business for her husband and now has nothing. I am really worried that my husband will not ever sign any paperwork for the divorce and is continually telling me he''s going to destroy me and would rather burn the house down and make sure we get nothing. He doesn''t see the children, makes arrangements and continually let them down but I''m looking after them and hope things will,improve in time. It''s hard for my children as they are used to a very nice lifestyle. I am doing 3 jobs to make ends meet - I''m too old for all this !!!!!! I am very worried and I have To pay solicitors and court costs - no legal aid for me !!!! Can anyone tell me what will happen if he doesn''t sign and return the divorce petition - which he should receive this week. Thank you in anticipation of your reply

hi!
somebody will be along who has more knowledge them me but you do not need his consent for divorce,it is not up to him.There are many people on here in the same boat so you are not alone i suggest you keep reading the threads as you can gain a lot of information.I would also read up on narcassistics as i think your husband sounds like one ,the more you know about them the stronger you will be .knowledge is power.Take care of yourself.XXX

I''m assuming you are divorcing him on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour? If he doesn''t sign and return the divorce Petition, you will have to deem service which means that, if he doesn''t acknowledge that he received it in any way your solisitor will arrange for the papers to be delivered again, usually by some official person (I have the word bailiff in my mind, but don''t think that''s right!) who gets his signature to say he received it and then a judge will sign it off, regardless of whether your husband acknowledges it or not. This does, of course, involve more cost.

Alternatively, if you receive anything from your husband that confirms he has received the papers, eg an email referring to it, then sometimes a judge will sign it off using this has evidence that he knows about it. So, if you get an email from him that mentions receiving the divorce papers, even if negatively (eg, I got the papers, you don''t think I''m gonna sign them do you? Blah blah blah) keep it!

As for the money front, have you done a benefits check since leaving your ex? A lot of the thresholds are different for a single parent. And consider going via the csa if you aren''t getting anything from him, although they are notoriously hard to get money from self employed people.