Healing seems to be taking a long time

My divorce came through just over a year ago and I also moved house after selling marital home. Been married for 23 years. Nearly all of those were good. We actually separated in Aug 22 when my partner came back from a cycling holiday and fell for one of the people there. After a year she said she'd been unhappy towards end of our marriage. She had never said anything about this and made no effort to save what I think was a strong partnership. Her suggestions about splitting finances were insulting so I got a solicitor and the enduring 18 months were traumatic which also meant divorce took ages to finalise. She said many hurtful and unnecessary things that really knocked my confidence and self esteem. Anyway much further down the line I am getting better but still struggle. I berate myself for not being over it all now. I still cry, have real moments of anxiety particularly when I wake up or think about the future. I'm 60 and would like to find a soulmate but am scared about potentially dating again as doubt anyone would love me. I have much to feel grateful for in my life- friends, resources, health. I also see a therapist which helps. I think I'm doing all the things to help myself heal.... it's just hard work and slow. Please tell me I will get there.....

You’ll get there. Not overnight, just keep doing what your doing and slowly it will get better.

Remember it was a long relationship and your ex made the decision to end it so she was always ahead of you time wise.

Stay strong Oz. I'm at the very beginning of the process (i.e. no Conditional Order until September), I feel you it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I try to tell myself "all things must pass"...that's the only certainty in this life.

Reach out anytime.

What was your divorce split? 50-50? 60-40? 70-30? Do you have to pay spousal?

Regarding your ex, unfortunately, it appears many humans are serially monogamous and move from person to person.

Unfortunately, many humans get bored in long term relationships.

I remember hearing the phrase "she is not your wife, its just your turn". Its a crazy saying but there is a small amount of truth to it.