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ex husband threating to stop SM

  • Hopelives3
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21 May 12 #332096 by Hopelives3
Topic started by Hopelives3
Hi All

really need some advice on this, as ive search the internet and just cant find the answer.

Having got divorced back in 2007 i was awarded child maintenace and spousal maintenance via a court order, both were index linked. My ex husband never increased the payment inline with the (IL), i managed to agree with him a few years ago 2010 for a small increase but only after many arguements.

With the children getting older and bigger it is costing more and more to bring them up. I asked him to buy his son some new shoes for with which he said no and that i already get to much from him. He has never bought the children anything regarding school items or trips. My mum helps me with costs regarding clothes and activities the children want to do.

After several arguement with my ex regarding getting extra help with childrens cloths, i have decided to go through the CSA on the child maintenance side as i cant deal with talking to him anymore.

i still have a court order regarding SM which i believe still needs to be paid, he has threated to stop paying this once the CSA talk the money for the kids.

my question is, how do i enforce the CO on SM? i dont have spare money to re-take back to court or pay solicitor fees.

If he can just stop paying and i need to go back to court what is the point of a court order.

it would be great to have any replies in as plain english as you can as i have difficult in reading

thanks in advance for any replies

  • LittleMrMike
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22 May 12 #332151 by LittleMrMike
Reply from LittleMrMike
Not an easy question to answer without knowing one rather important point.

Sometimes an order can be made whereby the payer pays a given sum each month which includes spousal and child maintenance rolled into one. Any increase in the child maintenance is then deducted from the global sum.

But in general terms, there are two very good reasons why you should not allow arrears to accumulate.

One is that leave of the Court is required to enforce arrears which are more than 12 months old.

The other is that your ex can argue that if he did not pay and you still managed, you didn''t need the maintenance in the first place. That of course only applies to spousal maintenance.

Enforcement does rather depend on how your ex can pay the arrears, whether he has any assets, or a job, or whatever. It is possible to ask the Court to make an order which obliges the defendant to attend for cross examining as to his means. That might be enough to do the trick. But your husband can''t just stop paying SM ; he should apply for a variation.


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22 May 12 #332217 by Hopelives3
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according to the divorce doc''s the CM & SM are different both are indexed linked. The company my ex works for pays me directly from his wages, but it is near impossible to gain increase as i have to go through him first and that never works. I don''t know how to work out the lndex linked stuff, to be honest i dont even know what it means, its just what it says on the court order.

The CSA have said they dont deal with SM and that i need to deal with that myself:S

The CSA have now been in touch with telling him they are taking over the CM. I then had a phone call from the ex giving me hell about why ive got the CSA involved, he claims i will be getting less money through the CSA than what i get now and that he is going to stop paying SM full spot and also stopping the CM until the CSA start taking it from him.

He uses the "take me to court" arguement all the time as he knows i can not afford to take him to court, during the divorce he never turned up which kept creeping the cost up for me so i know he will just play the same game.

Does anyone know how the CSA get to know how much he earns?

One of my children came home the other week with a letter from the school regarding a trip costing £200:ohmy: i said i couldnt afford that i would only pay half and he would have to ask his dad for the other half, he is to scared to ask his dad:(

The ex has a good job as a manager in a factory and does lots (so he claims) of over time at weekends. He has told me that he will stop doing the overtime so i wont get any of the money, Although if he does stop the overtime i''d like to know what excuse he is going to give why he can never have the kids at the weekend:laugh: hes not had them once this year, a few hours on a saturday is all he has with them, and then he just takes them to his mums.

anyway im drifting of subject:P

by the sounds of it i will need to take him back to court to enforce the order, is that right? also he has no right to stop paying?

  • maisymoos
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22 May 12 #332218 by maisymoos
Reply from maisymoos
The CSA will write to him and ask for copies of his last 3 pay slips. If however you believe he gets bonuses make it clear to the CSA that you want the assessment made on 12 months of payslips.

SM you definitely need to deal with yourself.

My ex is the same and does not like the fact that I am using the CSA, but unfortunately it was due to his actions that I had to start to use them in the first place!! At least then you can let them deal with enforcement, make sure you let them collect monies on your behalf.

Yes if he stops paying SM you will need to take him back to copurt to enforce the order.

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