Help No Idea What To Expect or Ask for

Hello , this is my very first post please go easy on me.

I am 44 seperated since December 2011, married 22.5 years to a cop.
We have two kids both about to go to uni age 18 and 17.
He had run up £25k on credit cards...some joint but I knew nothing about them.

House is mortgaged for £125k and values at £180k.

He is due to retire from the police in4 years, pension for time married calculated at £344k - he says that''s wrong and there''s no way I''m entitles to £170k pension!

I need to know what he will have to contribute to kids fees, funding. Currently they stay with me and until the house sells he''s paying 2/3 of household costs (his wage is double mine at £37k pa)

He says he will pay half of their costs/fees/rent...I can not afford to pay the other half on my salary.
I can see this is going to get messy.
I just would like some guidance on what I should be entitled to and what the kids should get when they leave for uni in Sept.
He says he will not give the money for kids to me but only direct to them.
Where he''s concerned blood and stones spring to mind

Sally, IMHO you need to consult a solicitor, for the sake of the children.

The pension - sorry he does have to give you that kind of sum and from the info supplied by Ruby on here potentially more.

The debts etc - tough but you will also be responsible for half- no matter if you knew or not.

First step is to collate all the assets and debts - total them and then allocate who has what.

It is then simply a matter of deciding how to reach parity.

Sally

Have your children applied for their student loans yet? If not they need to before they leave for university. They will get a loan for their fees and a loan for living expenses and depending on your income if they live with you a grant that they do not have to repay, this can be over three thousand pound.

My daughter leaves for uni in October and she has been given the full grant due to my low income.

Regarding yourself and finances, do not listen to your stbx what he ants and what the law says are two different things, so as suggested see a solicitor for a free half hour consultation. Gather together all you need to ask to make the best use of the free time.

Good luck.

Unless there are court proceedings disclosure of assets is voluntary, although it makes sense to disclose to avoid expensive proceedings.

How has the value of the pension been calculated? The starting point is the Cash Equivalent Valuation but sometimes there are benefits (such as the right to early retirement) which aren''t reflected in that valuation so an independent valuation is more accurate. It is possible to offset the value of pension against other assets e.g. equity in the former matrimonial home.

Once all the assets have been valued the value of any liabilities are deducted to give the net value of the "pot" to be shared. This is shared "fairly" (usually 50:50) according to the principles in s9 Family Law (Scotland) Act 1986.

There is an argument to move away from 50:50 when someone is financially disadvantaged, say because they gave up a career or worked part time because whilst raising a family. You may also/instead be able to claim aliment and/or periodic payments for a short time after divorce to help readjust to a lower standard of living if you are going to struggle financially. It would make sense to maximise any earning potential so you can get a mortgage.

There maybe no uni fees to pay. Fees are paid by the Student Awards Agency for Scotland and aren''t paid back when students study at a Scottish University. When parents are separated the SAAS will take the income of the parent the student normally lives with into account. If your income is less than about £25k the children will be entitled to the full loan (£5K+) and you won''t be expected to pay anything. They may also might possibly be entitled to a bursary. Most students in Scotland seem to work so the shortfall between their income and expenses isn''t actually that great.

There is a general obligation for parents to support their student offspring until they reach the age of 25 in Scotland if they can afford to do so but on your husband''s income paying half costs/fees/rent is quite generous.

It''s a good idea to see a solicitor early on to find out where you stand and what options there are. Then you can negotiate from an informed position.