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Extending child maintenance to university

  • spooky
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19 Sep 12 #356814 by spooky
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I had my existing court order extended for my 4 children''s Uni education.

My eldest is in contact with her Dad so he pays her as per order but directly to her.

My second daughter''s maintenance is paid to me and then goes straight to her as she has no contact with her Dad. She is at Uni in Scotland so her first degree is 4 years.

Ex husband has now agreed to continue maintenance for a 4th year for eldest daughter to do a PGCE. But is trying to offset this against a reduction in SM so not all good for me.

  • Gillian48
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19 Sep 12 #356825 by Gillian48
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I am in a similar position I have a son at Uni my ex won''t contribute to his fees, studying etc.. I can''t claim through csa they only are bothered whilst the child is in full-time education and university is not classed as this - hence that''s why child benefit stops. You seem a genuine guy who cares about his kids unlike my ex who would rather see us all homeless which will be the case if I can''t get my SM order increased from 5p a year! I have another son at 6th form who wants to go to uni but I cannot fund him I''ve struggled to fund my other son who is in his last year. I was told by my solicitor that the kids could apply for maintenance in their own right and have it directly paid to them - which would be fine I don''t want any money which is meant for them but they would have a battle as the ex on his £85k salary is obsessed with money and doesn''t like parting with it. So basically once my kids are out of full time education my ex wants nothing more to do with them whereas I as their mother will do anything I can for them for the rest of my life even if I have to go without - which I do frequently. You seem like a lovely person and a caring father - I wish my kids father was as concerned about them but unfortunately a girlfriend takes priority apparently?

  • Bluesauce
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20 Sep 12 #356976 by Bluesauce
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Many thanks for all the comments

I really don''t understand fathers who don''t want to support their children, even adult children, through university & beyond.

I do understand ex husbands who don''t want to support the lavish lifestyles of ex wives, particularly when their new husband is a very high earner in his own right!

Is anybody able to give advice on whether my ex wife is able to apply for a new order, to be paid to her (not my daughter), for my eldest daughter''s university education, or is it my daughter alone who can apply as she is now nearly 19?

I believe my ex could apply for the order in relation to the younger 3 children to be extended, since they are all under 18 (although there is no need as I''ll pay them direct anyway, and she''d just be wasting her money!), but am unclear what the situation is in relation to the eldest.

  • Tor67
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21 Sep 12 #357029 by Tor67
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Hi - this subject is just rearing it''s ugly head in my household. my eldest is 17 and due to go to uni next sept - she will be 18 in march. i have been told by my solicitor that i must apply to have child maintenance for the period of ''tertiary'' (uni) education extended at a lower amount - usually 40% - prior to the original order ceasing, in my case for her next july. if i do not make that application before this then the order in relation to maintenance for eldest ceases and after that she and she alone would be entitled to apply to the court for maintenance from her father - NOT me. i am hoping to broker a deal with my ex so that i am able to stay in my home, with a younger child and provide housing for the eldest during the 20 weeks she does not study at uni. if this does not work then i will need to get my solicitor to make an application for extension prior to the cessation of the current order. hope this helps

  • hawaythelads
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21 Sep 12 #357033 by hawaythelads
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At all times remember the Golden Rule an ex wife divorces you not your wallet.
Now I have no doubt that you are being fair to your daughter but that will not register at all with your ex.
Personally If the csa payments were going to cost me more than the court order I''d continue to pay the money grabbing ex wife and tell her that she had to pay your daughter out of that then what she would have been getting.
Then you tell your daughter sorry but your mothers kicking up a load of grief and is going to court to feck about with this court order so I''ll pay your mother and you sort it out with her.
I know that isn''t ideal for you and not want you want to hear but ultimately I think you have to be pragmatic.
Now you''ve poked the wasps nest though your ex might well go for more money anyway once she realises you are underpaying on csa rates.Court orders are only valid for 12 months in respect to child maintenance.
All the best
HRH xx

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21 Sep 12 #357043 by WYSPECIAL
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It is also worth remembering that at the time that CM ends so does the Child Benefit and Tax Credits.

Must come as a right shock to some people that suddenly the money they have coming in is what they have to earn.

  • Bluesauce
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21 Sep 12 #357243 by Bluesauce
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Thanks all for the advice.

It seems to confirm what I thought.

I realise I might be cutting my nose off to spite my face if she does get the CSA involved, but then, even later on if the other 3 go to uni, and I could afford to contribute to them, I won''t because I won''t have been able to afford that for the eldest, in these circumstances.

The ex is a very, very long way off the breadline (£350k 6 bedroomed house, brand new 5 series beaner etc). If she was on the breadline, my attitude would be entirely different.

What goes around comes around.

Even if it takes a while.

What is interesting is the danger of this becoming a general "men" against "women" thing. To my mind there are materialistic entirely selfish ex wives and ex husbands.

I like to think that in my particular case, I''m the reasonable party who just wants to get on with a modest life and support his kids. But, I guess, if the ex were to post on here, she''d see it differently!

C''est la vie!

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