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How to get out of this hole?

  • Shankara
  • Shankara's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
07 Oct 12 #359732 by Shankara
Topic started by Shankara
Will just state the facts. I''m weary thinking about it all :-)

Married 23 years at time of divorce, me 44, he 45, that was 2010, separated in 2007.

First court hearing had to be delayed as my doctor did not think
i was strong enough. My dad had a stroke a year before we separated, and I have been caring for my parents as an only child since 2006. This was not even mentioned in court. At the time I was not claiming carers allowance, as benefits were very new to me.

Now I claim CA, and income support as our children are over 18 (19 and 25).

He earns loads, has always been an IT contractor, all our married life, but conveniently lost his contract just before the FDR hearing, and rented a bungalow.

He had clearly been advised to do this by his expensive solicitor, whilst my legal aid solicitor embarasssed me by saying things like''the mortgage needs to be changed from an interest only to a repayment, as it will be cheaper for my client''!!!!! I ended up asking for and paying for a barrister, who wasn''t much more help to be honest. My solicitor had also failed to freeze the funds still left from selling our joint property and he had spent it all by the time the final court hearing came about.

He wanted a Clean Break, but ended up with me getting lifetime maintenance which was set at 60 pounds a week. As our DD was still under 18, the total maintenance was set at 730 a month.

He has continued paying that, as it just covers my bills each month, but I fel controlled, as I did within the marriage. I agreed to the Consent Order as it was ''sold'' to me that, when anything changes, I can apply for a variation.

I am running my bank account to the bare bone each week. He earns in excess of 90k a year (forgot to say he moved in with daddy and does not pay a penny, and is a ''banker''living on expenses from week to week).

I don''t go anywhere, I am so isolated, our DD is at uni, lives at home, gets max grants because of my income, yet refuses to pay anything to me.

He knows that if I could afford to pay for a variation (cannot get legal aid for this), the court order said the family home would be sold when Zoe was 18, 18 months ago. Not enough equity for me to buy another house, cos of what he did with the second property and mortgage.

I have had a breakdown now, crisis team coming in every day.

Please help

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