Reneging on CM agreed at mediation

Can anyone help - as predicted STBX now reneging on the mediation financial agreement for CM, he won''t pay on 1st month now staying he won''t pay until 18th, his payday and if I don''t like it go to my solicitor. Since then he''s cancelled mediation 3 times and now refusing to go at all and getting mediator to sign a form - he had my FD pack 6 weeks ago but he''s not provided his.

My solicitor has now applied to the court for deemed service as we can prove he''s received the Petition in January.

He''s also today said he''s deducting further amounts off the agreed CM payment for things he''d previously agreed to pay for. He is paying the mortgage at this point but I have to cover all other bills including kids school bus, sports clubs etc.

I just don''t know if I''ve got the energy for all this, my face has broken out in bad eczema and I look like I''ve been punched in the face. Which is really bringing me down especially as I thought I''d got out of a controlling and abusive relationship.

Can anyone help with what my next steps are to get him to pay the agreed amount but more importantly get agreement from him on longer term finances - any help greatly appreciated

I don''t understand why when they leave for OW and move in with them, why they then drag their feet on EVERYTHING with us

At the moment, the amount of CM is agreed informally so it might be a good idea to work on an agreement and then set it out in a family based arrangement form - this will provide clarity for you both as to when the CM payments will be made, and what if any extras (ie club fees, school uniforms etc) are to be made and what those additional amounts are to be, and when. It''s not unreasonable for him to request that the CM is paid to you on his payday. I understand that requires comprise on your part, but agreement does involve compromise - and a little on your part may help smooth out the discussion re CM going forwards. This isn''t the same as you giving in to him, think of it as securing a proper agreement that you can both work with.

Your solicitor will be able to guide on what to do next regarding sorting out the finances; unfortunately, sorting out the fiances can and does take some time.

Is your ex represented?

After he cancelled all utilities in February, which I found out by chance, he agreed to reinstate them until 31st March. Then when we met mid February he agreed to pay CM on 1st of each month with me taking on all bills in my name, which I did. The option of compromise was agreed at mediation by me mid February - well let''s just say he told me what was happening and I had to agree.

I thought we had a ''proper'' agreement then which is the thing he is reneging on. It doesn''t help that the mediator got the figures wrong to my detriment in the meeting notes and refuses to change them until our ''next'' mediation which is a bit difficult as he won''t attend - so I''m now having both the date and amount changed to my and my children''s detriment.

Since March he''s sacked 2 consecutive solicitors and I don''t know if he has anyone now. He has always been crap with money over the last 26 years so I don''t know why I''m surprised.

I feel left hanging, and as its informal he could change things again at any point.

How much would CM be via CMS?

Consider that route if you don''t think you will be able to reach agreement.

Can''t get clarity on his income as he won''t do FD but I know his salary is roughly 3 times mine but he can earn a lot in overtime but it''s erratic.

How do you calculate CM on calculator when 1 child has him 4 nights a month (excluding 6 weeks of school holidays) whilst other child has refused to see him at all since last summer

Either child will be less than 52 nights per year so no reduction

Thanks Wyspecial

I meant to say he has 1 child 4 nights a month, I will be asking for him to cover my part Time hours for 6 weeks of the school holidays which could equate to anything between 12 up to 30 extra days per year - would this be added to the nights average per year , I.e. 52 nights plus 12 to 30 over the year?? I.e taking him into the 1-2 nights average ?

The calculator assumes both children see the parent equally

What do you mean by no reduction?