Remarriage - no financial agreement in place

Your help would be much appreciated here:

I am about to remarry to a man who has also been divorced for several years. When he divorced he didn''t get the financial situation resolved - there is an agreement in place that he will pay the mortgage on the former family home, but no agreement on when, or even if, that will end. His children are now 21, nearly 18 and 14, but there isn''t anything in place to resolve this.. the amount being paid is way in excess of any CSA amount, and is not linked to the age of the children in any way. In addition, he has taken on the family''s joint debt, leaving her free and clear. The agreement essentially leaves him with practically nothing to live on each month - certainly not enough to start a new life separately, so realistically it leaves me as the only source of finance in our marriage.

It''s clear that this needs to be resolved - I am worried that he is tied in to this forever. He has no assets, pays a lot towards his children''s living expenses on top of this, and yet is continually being lambasted by his ex wife (seven years after divorce) for failing to look after his family. Also, of course, things like his pension (a pittance - he is a gardener) are involved.

I would expect that what we need to do is to get an agreement on:

- the appropriate share in the family home
- when that home will be sold (or when it is appropriate for him to be bought out)
- how long and for what amount maintenance payments to his ex wife and his children should be paid
- how the pension should be apportioned
- how the debt should be apportioned

What is vitally pressing right now is what happens on remarriage. Will our marriage change what his ex can expect from him - both in terms of what he should pay for maintenance or child support, and more importantly, what rights will his ex have over our shared income (ie, my income). Need urgent answers - the wedding is soon!

Hello Timion,

Thank you for your post
I have read around to find some information which will hopefully answer some of your concerns. Below are some pointers that you might want to consider:

Did you new partner ever create a contract known as a Consent Order with his ex-wife?
This is defined on the website as ''a financial contract that is voluntarily and jointly agreed by a divorcing or divorced couple to finalise all financial obligations arising from their marriage.
These can include:
-Liquid Assets,
-Pensions (still an asset that can be shared)
-Consent orders can sometimes stipulate what will happen to the house (will be sold and proceeds divided/transfer property from one name to another).
-Maintenance:Child and spousal.
Consent orders that do not contain a spousal component are referred to ''Clean Break'' arrangements.
As your partner is still expected to make mortgage repayments, it looks as though this does not apply.

On divorce some couples choose to come to a decision about financial obligations among themselves without creating a consent order.

It might be a good idea to find out whether your partner did create a consent order with his ex-wife or whether the payments he currently makes had been informally arranged.

If there is a consent order then it is possible to change it.
Once the agreement can be sealed it can only be changed by mutual consent of the now ex-husband or ex-wife. However, it cannot be changed unless both agree to the change.
If one side is unable to agree then it may be an idea to have mediation to resolve this.

Regarding the child maintenance:
A child is someone under 16 years old or someone between 16-19 who is not or has never been married in a civil partnership or is in full time advanced education. In special circumstances, some can still be regarded a child even if they are not in higher education.
Perhaps you may want to discuss these circumstances regarding the 21 and even the 19 year old.

If you have a feeling that the amount being paid to the children exceeds the CSA amount, you may want to double check this in the Child Maintenance Calculator online. However, I appreciate that you may have already done this.

I hope this will help.
If anything is unclear or you have any further questions, please get in touch.

Flo

Was your partner the Petitioner or respondent? If they were the petitioner they should have ticked the boxes about financial settlement even if none was finalised.

The important thing is to avoid the so called remarriage trap. This bars a person from starting a financial application if they have remarried without an application being made.

If your partner was the respondent, it would be sensible to at least start the financial settlement process. The fact you are getting married will have some bearing on it as his housing needs will be met and you are sharing costs.

All marital assets will go into the pot for division including the FMH. The age and housing needs of the children will be relevant. Ideally any financial order would be by consent - with both parties agreeing what is fair. You can find out more about financial settlement by reading this site. Ask as many questions as you need.

On another note, and I don''t want to appear unromantic, you may want to consider some form of prenuptial agreement, especially if he is of limited means. These are not legally binding but can carry some weight and may protect your assets in case if any financial proceedings involving his ex.

Hadenoughnow

Thank you for your very rapid response. As far as I can see no consent order was made, simply an agreement to continue to pay the mortgage - this is in the form of a signed agreement but certainly couldn''t be said to constitute a clean break or indeed to address the house, maintenance, pensions and so on - so everything is up in the air. I would guess that your advice would be to get this dealt with now - I am guessing that even though something has been signed, it doesn''t preclude something more being demanded.

For certain he has been paying more than just the CSA calculation amounts - the agreement would need to be renegotiated especially now his situation has changed.

The big and urgent question for me right now is the level of risk associated with getting married with this amount of uncertainty - my husband to be might well be happy to continue this arrangement with his ex, but I do need to make sure that my assets and income are protected on marriage - because the ex is rabidly keen on pursuing any route that will benefit her and cause further pain to my fiancé! Any advice?

Thankyou for your rapid response! My partner was the respondent in the divorce so just signed what was put in front of him, which is an agreement on paying the mortgage with no end.

This remarriage trap worries me - what you seem to be saying is that if my fiancé remarries then he cannot start a financial application to resolve this - which would be a major disaster for our future ongoing.

Thanks for the suggestion about a prenup.

How long ago was the divorce?

If there are assets including pension etc then I would strongly advise him to sort this out sooner rather than later. You have correctly interpreted the remarriage trap. My advice would be to see a solicitor ASAP for advice on how to proceed.

Does his ex work? Is the property larger than she needs?

Financial settlement is based on needs and means. All the assets including pensions, equity etc go into the pot for division. Marital debts would also be included in the pot. Various factors including length of marriage, ages, incomes and children are taken into account when deciding what is fair.

It is possible to offset pension against equity. It is also possible to agree to sell the property and split the proceeds at a certain point in the future usually when the youngest child reaches 18.

He certainly should just not be paying the mortgage indefinitely. It sounds like he has been more than fair - and of course the children must be supported - but he does need to be able to move on. It may be a hassle to sort this now but if he doesn''t it will just be hanging over you.

Hadenoughnow

Thanks. You''ve raised enough points to make me certain that we need to make something happen and get some specific advice. My feeling is that she is trying to use this all as leverage against him - we''ve had crazy offers on how the house should be apportioned (''because the children live with me'') and no account taken of joint debt. So I am hoping that we can make a proposal for resolution and get it over and done with. It''s been seven years since he divorced - the house will soon be bigger than she needs as the children move out - and the ex does work, so they probably have very similar incomes.