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STBX preventing me from taking children abroad

  • Phate06
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19 Jul 12 #344155 by Phate06
Topic started by Phate06
Hi everyone,

A little background, joined this forum several months ago after my wife of 2 years ended our marriage. Since then I have gone through all the emotions, highs and lows, and not thinking I could come out of the other end in one piece - well I have. I am currently seeing an amazing lady who has a young girl herself, and my 2 children on the few times they have met them, adore them.

Anyways, my new parter and I booked a holiday in May to go abroad next August (2013) along with my Mother, Step Dad and Brother, my 2 children and her little girl are going as well. Great, Fantastic, my STBX was ok about this when I mentioned it to her, I am even paying for thier passports.

Now, my STBX is saying she will not allow me to take my kids abroad, or even let them see my new GF becuase my new GF is ot friends with her!?!?!:ohmy:

We are going through the divorce at the moment, so I need to get a solicitor as i feel this is unfair and not legally sound. Am i correct on this matter?

my new GF has only met on STBX once, she does not drink (apart from the odd social drink once in a while), do drugs or anything unfitting for raissing children.

Can you help me on this at all?


  • somuch2know2
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19 Jul 12 #344157 by somuch2know2
Reply from somuch2know2
I am also in a similar situation as my ex (absolute finally came through) objects to me introducing the kids to my new girlfriend. but here is the thing... objections are just that.

You both have parental responsibility and what you do in your time or where you take them is up to you. All she can do is make things difficult, so to get over that, you go to court and get a defined contact order. I am not quite at that point yet, but started the ball rolling by getting contact restated after being fed up with her games.

There are some people on here who can offer a lot better advice and details- but you have a year to get this sorted. Good luck

  • Fiona
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19 Jul 12 #344163 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
When you have Parental Responsibility both parents have equal responsibility and rights to carry out their responsibilities and each parent can make unilateral every day-today decisions such as who the children spend time with. As long as you try to handle the introduction of a new partner gradually and sensitively if your ex is hostile to you or your new partner that is her issue. Tell your ex you are trying to be as diplomatic as possible but the children shouldn''t be used as a weapon against you.

As far as holidays abroad are concerned although it is advisable to have consent from the other parent strictly speaking it isn''t unlawful to take children abroad on the usual one or two weeks family holiday if consent is unreasonably withheld. However, to avoid any last minute confusion, court hearings and possibly having your holiday disrupted abroad you need written consent from your ex or permission from the courts. The courts will normally grant permission as long as the children aren''t very young when they might struggle with being away from their main carer for a week or so.

My suggestion would be to try and defuse the situation with the help of a mediator or through solicitor negotiation in the first instance. If the issues can''t be resolved there is a requirement that parents in most cases attend at least a mediation Information & Assessment Meeting before the courts will hear a case . Any written communication can be used as evidence that you have been reasonable.

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