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when should my 10 yr old meet my new partner

  • bikemad650
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04 Sep 12 #353846 by bikemad650
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hi, i left my wife 8 mths ago and started a new relationship 2 weeks later with someone from my past, stbx has poisened the kids into thinking i had an afair etc, my 15 yr old still isnt speaking to me but my 10 yr old i have contact with every week, my wife is is a new relationship with a friend of mine and he has 2 kids, both familys go away camping etc together and they dont have a problem with him. hes a decent guy to be fair, i''m looking for advice on the best way to get my daughter to meet my partner, its hard at the min as she is getting poisened from the rest of the family her mum and her sister and gran i suspect so she is the odd one out i guess and also im the bad guy. i''m hoping it will get easier once the divorce is sorted.

  • jslgb
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04 Sep 12 #353850 by jslgb
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The general rule of thumb is 6 months into a relationship.

I think the fact that your ex has introduced a new partner may be more of a help than a hindrance to you. I''m guessing from your post your daughter knows about your new partner? Have you tried discussing it with her? I think it depends on what she has been told as to how much you reveal to her in terms of timings of relationships etc.

If your daughter does agree to meet your partner i would suggest you do it on a neutral territory and for a short period of time. Perhaps you can plan a day out with your daughter shopping or to the movies etc and maybe factor in a visit to a coffee shop to meet the girlfriend before carrying on with your day just the two of you. Its best not to try and overpower her at the beginning and let her form her own opinions.

Hope that helps!

  • flowerofscotland
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04 Sep 12 #353856 by flowerofscotland
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Hi bikemad650,

Maybe by re-reading this thread and what you have written, it seems to be that needs of the the adults sound like they far more important than those of the children????

You started a new relationship 2 weeks after....well unlike most you at least waited...

No child should be forced to meet a ''new partner'' unless they wish to do so.

Take care for now FoS x

  • Stumpylad70
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04 Sep 12 #353858 by Stumpylad70
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Personally I would say it is up to your child to decide. You will have to explain that the situation is complex and there is more than one side to it. But do give the children the option to decide what they would perfer.

I wish my stbx had done that with my son. He walked in on her and the ***** in bed together. Dont make that mistake, it upset my son badly.

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