Any advice/guidance appreciated

Hi All,

First: Happy new Year if its at all possible for you/yours!

My predicament:

Married 15 1/2 years
2 kids: 11 1/2 & 8 1/2
Untenable marriage: no longer communicating- decision is to go now or sacrifice life until kids are clear of education?

Total of 19 years Police Service:
15 1/2 under "old" scheme frozen pension to 60 as I left for 4 years

Rejoined under new scheme May 2006: paying 9% since, considering upping to 11-15%

Sergeant for 2 1/2 years, now qualified to Insp but unlikely to be made up before Olympics

I have £130k mortgage on house worth ~£260-280K in my name only

Mrs has NHS pension, has only worked 3 days a week since kids were born; NHS pension since 18 ( soon 40); been a Senior Sister (eq to Ch Insp) for 7-8 years

Questions:

1. If/when we separate/divorce can I give her the house/maintenance etc. with a view to "ring-fencing" my pension?- I dont want to know her other than platonically as the mother of my kids & I would, inevitably, like to try again without a millstone around my neck

2. How do I afford to live if I separate: live with parents, bedsit etc? I live in the SE England/Greater London area, I would like a 2 bed flat to rent/buy so I can see kids but, from what I've seen here, once she's had her way, I cannot afford to live. How are funds split?

3. Should I put up with her until the kids have flown the roost. Is a longer (25+) year empty-nest divorce cheaper than now?

4. Should I divorce in the next few years, then do well in remaining service, is she entitled to a slice of my current (Sergeants pension) only, or can she demand more if, for example, I make it to Ch Insp or Supt in my remaining service?

Apologies for going on. If this is the wrong place to post please move elsewhere

T

Hi

I was married to a police officer and at the time of my divorce (2 years ago) our girls were 13 15 and 17.

I divorced my ex (long, now boring story to me anyway, so I won't bore you).

Anyway, basically I got all the equity £170000, endowment of £20,000, half his police pension (he receives his next year/year after - I get mine at 60 in 11 years).

I also got 5 years SM at £500 per month.

This is just for infomrmation only. It may help you decide ultimately whether your marriage is worth fighting for or not.

All the best and hope everything works out the way you wish it to.

Jo x