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Pensions, Savings etc POST separation...?

dukey
Moderator

02 Jun 10 #207127 by dukey

Reply from dukey

Your a lawyer and you don`t agree with mediation? are you signed to resolution?,

What would you suggest?,

A mediator is independent working for both spouses and you pay one mediator not two solicitors add to that mediators typically charge less per hour than a single solicitor would, mediators are trained in round table resolution unlike solicitors who act for a single party and send formal letters back and forth increasing costs for all concerned,

mediation is not for all, it only works if both sides can talk and give and take a bit but it certainly has its place and does work for many.

maggieman
Posted by
Junior Member

02 Jun 10 #207130 by maggieman

Reply from maggieman

Thank you Dukey... I really appreciate your advice and comments

hadenoughnow
Moderator

02 Jun 10 #207159 by hadenoughnow

Reply from hadenoughnow

Maggieman,

It is always best to try to keep things as amicable as you can - and to put the needs of the children uppermost.

Presumably if you have been separated for 9 years your housing needs are currently being met?
It may help if you made it clear from the outset that you have no intention of pursuing her inheritance and would be proposing that all assets acquired post separation should be left out of discussions.

After 9 years living in the house with the children, she will naturally be afraid that divorce will mean she has to move against her will. Perhaps you would be able to reassure her about that too? If there is any chance she could buy you out or you could agree a Mesher Order (e.g. sell when youngest is 18 or other triggers)then it may help if you indicated that you would consider this.

If you have a substantial pension, you may be able to offset this against equity in the house.

It is a very good idea to read up as much as you can about the way finances are settled on divorce (wiki library is a good place to start) and to find things that you can agree on - ie providing for the children. You may have a good enough relationship to be able to reach agreement without a mediator. That would be great if you could do that .. it does happen!

Wiki is here to help answer any questions you may have.

Best of luck.

Hadenoughnow

Moderators: wikivorce team, rubytuesday, dukey, hadenoughnow, Tets, Shezi, Linda Sheridan, Forseti, Mitchum, WhiteRose, Lostboy67, WYSPECIAL, Bubblegum11

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