Do we have to involve Pensions?

I think this is a long shot & I haven’t got figures as yet (should have these this week). . . But do we have to include pensions in the pot?

I think that MY pensions are going to be the only "asset" in the financial settlement as other than that all we have is debt, really. My STBX suggested waiting 2 years when everything is paid off (by me that is of course LOL) & the housing market may be better, but that seems way unfair to me. At the moment I am struggling to make ends meet & pay off the loan / (joint) morg & bills & keep 2 kids on my own & am worried that:

A) If the pensions are included then I will have to find £X as a financial settlement to pay STBX (which I cannot do as I cannot raise any funds - have checked) & this will leave me & kids on the street (so to speak).

That really why should my pensions be considered when we both worked & both had the chance to get a pension etc etc but stbx decided not to do so (his lapsed through non payment - his choice) - why should I be penalised for his choices?! When he had the means to pay up but spent it on other things? – Not as if stbx was at home hence not in a position to pay into a pension – if this was the case then fair play.

Sounding bitter & twisted I know – but as I am collecting all the info & going through all the crap & mess we have been in due to STBX actions (which looks like it will continue – to retirement grrrrrr) I’m sorry but yes I’m bitter resentful & ready for the shotgun – Joke honest .... think

Thanks rank over – but if anyone can advise (forgetting the shotgun) of course


JJ

I am fairly sure that pensions need to be considered, but there are complications regarding how they are added to the pot, in that its not on a £ for £ basis, so as an example they will be factored in at perhaps 25% of value when measured against equity in a property.

I share you frustration with a stbx that could have paid into a pension and didn't....apparently shoes were more important.....when you've finished with the shotgun can I borrow it

LB

Thanks LB & yes I will pass the shotgun on LOL.

Socialising not shoes for my stbx - I would say.

I suppose I've just got to wait for all the figs & get a sols, it is suppose to be all going through via mediation which may be cheaper & worked for the contact (although they are teenagers so they do what they want anyway). But I just don’t think that will work for the finances as our ideas of what is fair are polls apart, on a freebie session with the sols - he laughed when he heard what STBX wanted as a fair settlement & asked "well where are you going to get that from - cos its not here" but then stbx's ideas of finance have always been way off!

Thanks again JJ

I too am in the same position STBX said he couldn't afford a pension but had plenty of spare money to go out every Friday with his mates. I on the other hand worked part time(30 houre per week) and still paid mine, but then I didn't go out every Friday. I think it most unfair that someone can choose to neglet something as important as a pension if they are working and then expect to take a share in the home and the other persons pension. To me it seems beinf the responsible person in a partnership is the wrong way to go.

Thanks Julie

My point exactly - it seems I am to be penalised all way round for being careful & planning correctly whereas he can get away with not paying & then taking part of my pension!

Tis not fair - she says banging her feet!

Thanks JJ