will i lose out badly ?

I am working part time and have a pension worth approx 98,000 and my stbx hubs has a pension worth about 30,000. He is a company director and before we seperated he was paying himself about 3,800 a month. 18 month down the line and he says, due to the resession, he is now paying himself less that 1500 a month. I work 17 hours a week now and come out with about the same money as him a month. I am now forced to go to CSA for help with the child maintenance and know that they will ask less of him that he is prepared to give me. (he has offered about 450 pounds)I feel he is being unfair as the amount of money he is drawing from the company does not reflect his value. He is a lawyer. And also he pays himself a dividend and doesnt expect this to be more that 10,000 this year. I feel that i am stuck and he will get a much bigger split of the equity in the house because he also says his company is valued at NIL ... despite him paying 21, ooo for a third share in his company and putting it on his form E as a liability.
i really do need some help because this situation is making me sick. I am already solely paying an interest only mortgage and his proposal is that in 12 years time i sell the family home, make me and the kids homeless, and give him his 50 percent share of the capital based on its future value !
I cant move on on this ... i have stuck my head in sand and am making myself ill... please help me if you can .. many thanks xx

Your husband is making a lot of demands but that doesn't mean that is what he will get. You need to get yourself a good solicitor. If your husband is a lawyer himself you will need someone strong and experienced to fight him.

Best wishes,
Sadie

I am very sorry to hear of your difficulties and I can only make a few observations/ suggestions which might make you feel a little easier.

There are, and will continue to be, many casualties from the recession. It is quite likely that his income, and therefore his ability to support you, will have reduced as a result.

But he is in the fortunate position of being able to decide his own remuneration, at least to a degree, and I suspect he is delibereately keeping it low in order to reduce his potential liability for maintenance.

It's easy when you're dealing with a husband on fixed wages or pensions. The issue here is not, I suspect, what your husband pays himself, but what he could do. That is very definitely a matter for an accountant.

My advice to you here is not equivocal. You must review your entitlement to benefits as a matter of urgency. By benefits I mean tax credits ( child and working ) and possibly income support/JSA. You will need to do this anyway.

As regards the house, your position is much stronger than you realise, because the Court will be primarily concerned with you and your childrens' need for a home. I really can't hazard a guess on the limited information we have, but his argument that he ought to get a higher share of the equity because his business has collapsed is, in my opinion, very weak and unlikely to cut much weight.

So, for the moment - I'm sorry but some reduction is your lifestyle is more or less inevitable. Divorce almost always has this effect. But he is trying to milk it for all it is worth and, while this is understandable, you should not meekly surrender. You need to get at what he is really worth and get your fair share of a reduced pot, if you see what I mean. That will require advice which unfortunately is beyond my experience.

LMM

thankyou both so much for your advice. it comes at a time when i really feel i need all the advice i can get. i do have a solicitor but she is a bit meek and mild but is she like Columbo and always gets her man in the end? its not always the rottweillers that get what they want? or is it? weighing it all up is so difficult i find. i have now got my Decree Nisi and just negotiating the finances or should i say he is making rigid proposals and sticking to it without giving the full amount his assets are worth and just sees the family home as a money making venture and wants to get his hands on it. it has cost me probably £4000 in solicitor fees so far so that seems a tad excessive too !
thanks to all for their kind words and advice. means alot

Just to add to Little Mike's "benefits" advice, if you haven't already done so you should also consider council tax. If you are a single adult occupier you are entitled to a 25% discount. No one, not even my solicitor, made me aware of this. However, a few years down the line I've just managed to secure a backdated refund of over £2,000!

Thanks, I stand corrected.

One important piece of advice - claim benefits without delay. Jesserba did very well to get a refund, it's not easy to backdate benefits.

I don't like ' rotweilers ' - the kind who will fight to the end - yeah right, the end of your money ! I hope your lawyer is a member of Resolution.

LMM

If you feel he has organised his financial affairs so as to make assets and income unavailable to you and his children can you demonstrate that to the court by your questions in the questionnaire following exchange of Form E?
Has he always been self employed?
What species of lawyer is he - what's his specialism?
My cynical first reaction: make certain you get spousal maintenance aka periodical payments - however small - so that you can revisit all this when he drops his financial guard/business suddenly improves?
Better to get disclosure now but always useful to have an invitation to the next party.