A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Help - Ex not paying anything and wants money

  • Button
  • Button's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
20 Feb 08 #14536 by Button
Topic started by Button
Hi there, i really hope someone can help me. I am 27 years old and had been with my Ex for 10 years - i finally left him in March 2007 when his mental and emotional abuse got too much for me to cope with. I was one tablets from the doctor and had been referred to a specialist due to increased self harming ( my ex husband would dig at me about my weight and i had no confidence left, i was scared to be there and he would try and force me to sleep with him), his addiction to internet dating sites / women and his spending (64,000.00 of joint money in 4 years to be exact)was enough to drive me over the edge

I recieved a letter from his solicitors not long after saying he was starting divorce proceedings to which he then phoned me stating he wanted me to admit to adultery so divorce would be granted quickly. i refused point blank as i had not cheated at all. i had only been at my parents house a week when the nasty phone calls started, he phoned my work and my mobile. He also sent me emails and msn messages about people he had slept with. I made contact with him to chase him for some money as he agreed to pay me approx 500 a month for the mortgae and joint loan. he paid for two months

so in june when i called him about not recieveing any money he started threatening me to the point i had 10 calls from him threatening to rip my throat out and he wanted my blood etc etc
i called the police and they were present when three calls were made, they took him in and spoke to him and told him never to have contact with me again.

Since that day i have not recieved a single penny from him and my mortgage is 567.00 a month and i had a joint loan with him which was 408.00 a month.

neither of us live in the house and it is up for sale.

I have struggled to pay the bills and even been to the point of the house nearly being repossessed (to which he still thinks it is)

He phoned me in november regarding the joint loan as that went to insolvency proceedings( - i had to borrow 11500.00 to pay my half & he still thinks i owe money on it and it trying to get this from any profit in the house)- he stated in this phone call he was going to ruin me and make sure i could never get another thing in my life.

He was stealing my mail and causing me problems with bank accounts to the point i can only get a basic bank account. he however took all the electrical equipment from the house inc a new plasma tv and new laptop dvd players etc

i had a 7 yr old washer and dishwasher and that was all baring a few odd kitchen items

i had the locks changed on the house in january and since then he has attempted to get in the house.

my solicitor is a waste of space and speaks to me like i am an idiot, i have been through the stress and upset of moving out of my home, problems with work due to the stress, financial problems of having to pay all the bills etc.

Now he is wanting his half of his debt taking off the hosue and is pushing for the house to be repossessed

i dont understand why he should be entitled to any money from the house when he has not paid a penny towards it since may 2007.

he on the other hand has bought a nice 14k car and is living somewhere with his new g/f and kids.

i dont know what else to do - my solicitor isnt very understanding and treats me like i am some dirt on his shoe as i am recieving legal aid.

how do i get his name off the mortgage and deeds and stop him from trying to get any profit from the house at all. I am thankful to my house mate who sold their house and has had the money to lend me to stop my house gettign repossessed

many thanks

  • loobyloo
  • loobyloo's Avatar
  • Visitor
  • Visitor
20 Feb 08 #14548 by loobyloo
Reply from loobyloo
Button
seems an awful situation you have, but the fact is, yes 50/50 split is starting point if in both names and as for debt that needs to be justified as to how the debt accrewed
I agree with you on some attitudes of solicitors depending on your social standing, and unfortunately in my very own experience this also is the case with the judges too
Some people are so plausible and have no scruples....another first hand experience from me
My x2b is the liar and money launderer from hell and to date has got away with it
anyway ive posted enough about me on here to last a life time.... so am now approaching final hearing have little response to my posts of late so i will just assume the role of benefitting anyone with my experiences through the whole divorce and ancillary relief procedure not excluding the csa
regards
looby

  • Button
  • Button's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
21 Feb 08 #14632 by Button
Reply from Button
Hi Looby

Many thanks for taking the time to read mt storey it is most appreciated.

just a quick update

I recieved a telephone call from the solicitors to say due to Ex's behaviour and threats / police being involved i am exempt from mediation

can anyone tell me what to expcct next as i am going to see my solicitor beginning of march to fill in rest of the documents

thanks

  • dukey
  • dukey's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
21 Feb 08 #14639 by dukey
Reply from dukey
Hello button its a sad story and i can see you are haveing a hard time but we are all hear to help and support you.

Your profile says your already divorced?
if not at what stage of the divorce are you
any kids
how long were you married
are you divorceing him
sorry for the questions but they will help us to help you also remember the morgage and loan are JIONT debt not yours alone keep posting and we will do our best
dukey

  • dukey
  • dukey's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
21 Feb 08 #14640 by dukey
Reply from dukey
oh another bit keep a reccord of the police visits and action tacken time and dates and talk to your sol about getting a non molestation order against him

  • Button
  • Button's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
21 Feb 08 #14647 by Button
Reply from Button
our profile says your already divorced?
if not at what stage of the divorce are you - i am just getting my certificate for the Decree Absolute

any kids - no kids

how long were you married married nrly 4 years together nrly 10

are you divorceing him - i am divorcing him on grounds of unreasonable behaviour (i couldnt prove adultery)

sorry for the questions but they will help us to help you also remember the morgage and loan are JIONT debt not yours alone keep posting and we will do our best -

the joint loan went into insolvency - and due to the divorce they dealt with us individually - they said if we both paid 11500.00 the debt would end - as they would reduce the 32k debt to 11 1/2k each

if he didnt pay and i didnt pay then they would change us both so if i started making payments and he didnt i would be landed with 32k debt - i managed to borrow the money and paid mine off - he hasnt and is now trying to get them to get the money from any equity in the house. - i dont think he knows ive paid my share off and he is now landed with 21k debt

i have paid all bills and mortgage on the property since may / june of last year and i have proof of all of this

i have kept details of crime numbers for the police visits etc and dates when he called me and came to my mums

he even called me to let me know he knows where my company had moved to as he had seen my car outside - my work place is well off any main road and in the middle of an industrial estate - so he has obviously been stalking me

i am worried and scared and to the point where i feel like putting a bullet in my head!

  • dukey
  • dukey's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
21 Feb 08 #14649 by dukey
Reply from dukey
Hello button try to stay calm there are lots of poeple on this site to help you.
Get a non molestation order then he cant visit you your family place of work if he breaks the order he risks arrest (some do reccord calls made by x for the police though its not legal)
Have you completed form E do you have an agread Clean Break Consent Order or will it be fdr.
It may be a good idea to talk to your gp about counselling some poeple find it helpfull, have you considered contacting one of the domestic violence groups im quite sure they will give expert advice, if i were you i would contact the police everytime he makes a threat.
It might help to jion the chat talk to poeple with problems like yours it helped me hang in there remember your not alone.
dukey

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11