Housing options following separation

Dear wikivorcers,

My article on '' Pre-divorce '' seemed to be well received and I was moved to write another one on the subject of housing options.

It is primarily intended for readers with no technical knowledge and in particular for those who can''t afford a lawyer and are forced to self rep.

I would welcome any suggestions for comments/corrections/additions etc etc

LMM

Bugger dam and blast it wont open for me

Sorry - it did open for me. Try clicking on the text in blue.

Mike

Hi LittleMrMike what an imformative guide thank you. Im currently with my solicitor and hes asked for my OC1 copy. I couldnt understand what it was for and now it explains it. My problem is this property wasnt split before the divorce and now I was to sell (I had been living in FMH whilst my son was at school nearby) My ex had been paying voulentry CM, but through the mortgage account Stupidly I had listened to the mediator who thought this was a good idea as we were not getting on at all. She said it was a good record of payments!So my ex hasn''t paid a penny in 5 years towards actually paying an 8yr old mortgage and will now try and claim 50%. Does anyone have any experience of this?

For anyone facing divorce this article is well worth a read.

Thank you for this I know I have been told it all before both by my solicitor and on here, but actually having it in my hand and reading it, re-reading it and reading it again it, i know believe it

to keep it simple I would like to have some help in weighing up my options.

wife and I married in 98. we have three children between us aged 12, 10 and 6. she also has another daughter aged 17 who is NOT my daughter but I have until we separated 2 years ago, brought her up as my own.
our 3 children have since last sept been living with both of us on alternating weeks. hasnt been easy but the kids have gotten used to it.
fmh house was bought 3 years ago and is at this moment in time in positive equity to about £90k. the deposit for it was largely paid by an inheritance she gained. however, I paid the mortgage on the house up until sept last year as I had moved out due to excessive stress. I felt it was better for the kids and us. Before we had the house we rented all the way through. There was only one wage earner and that was me. a decision we both made with our first because we wanted one of us to be home at all times while they were young.
We went through mediation while she was training as a teacher and we reached an agreement regarding splitting the equity, and transfering the mortgage and house into her name. the equity was split into a 33:67% split in her favour.
she has since resigned from the course gaining some form of payment to encourage this. how much I am unaware. I also obtained a PPI payment and I gave her half a few months ago.
she receives all the benefits from the state despite the children being shared between us. Thats a decision she made when I said I wouldnt be able to claim for Child Benefit etc as my pay is over the threshold. I was mistaken I realise now but she still claims. I am a Head of Dept at a school. I have debts of about £13k and am paying those off myself.
I am now renting a flat nearby to the FMH.
I now have reached a quandry. She is unemployed, living off her limited finances and will soon be unable to pay the mortgage unless she finds a job. If the mortgage company repossesses the house we both lose. If I take her to court my solicitor has said it will take 6 months+ before she would be forced to sell it and will cost me £10k + VAT. If I try to renegotiate with her what we discussed in mediation it will cost me £140 per 90minute session and I still may need to take her to court as she has a habit, seriously, of making agreements and when they dont suit her dropping them like a rock.
I am despondant and to be honest feeling that justice is not for those on middle incomes who arent rich but earn too much to qualify for any legal support.
I have waited for 9months for her to concentrate on her training so she would qualify but now I believe I have been too kind.

I dont believe that my hoping for some capital out of the house is wrong. The children have a home with both of us. I would like to have a house one day of mine own for my kids as well as she being able to do the same.

any advice welcome. thanks