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  • QPRanger
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23 Jul 12 #344856 by QPRanger
Reply from QPRanger
My ex ''took the initiative'' 10 months ago and I wish I had got in there first...

But I know that my insecurities and depression meant that I would never have done so, despite how desperately unhappy and lonely I was.

If you are stronger than me then go for it my friend: good luck!

  • Fiona
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23 Jul 12 #344860 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
Feelings are running high and I think it''s important not to act in haste. Emotions are best kept separate from the practicalities using a counsellor if necessary. Sadly for whatever reason the marriage is over but what you need to bear in mind is there is life after divorce as many of us here can testify.

How you react now will affect long term family relationships. There are many years of parenting with your wife and the last thing you want is for your son to feel he needs to tiptoe around as though he is on eggshells.

Would your wife go to a mediator? Sometimes people say they won''t but then change their mind if the other person arranges mediation and they are invited by the mediator. It may take a few sessions but a mediator can help defuse the situation so that constructive progress can be made.

Try making a list of what must be done and prioritise them. Contact with your son I would have thought is the first priority.
Then making provisional arrangements for the finances whilst the divorce and finances are settled. The divorce and financial settlement are last on the agenda. It can take many months or even a year or so to get that far.

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