How can I speed up her leaving?

Yes and no, the first year coping with the brutal truth of betrayal and that I was so easily expendable both by my best mate and my husband was not easy (understatement of the year).

I think you would have to have the feelings of a block of wood not to find a new relationship flaunted in your face - which is basically what is happening to you in reverse.

Her behaviour is incredibly insensitive - just remember that when you are feeling down as it is easy to feel humiliated and worthless and like there is something wrong with you if you get the sort of treatment which you are being treated to (trick or treat more like).

Yes sometimes I maintain a sense of humour but sometimes I behave like a menace and a tramp. It does get to your after a while.

No longer have feelings of jealousy (they went pretty quickly) but it can be very humiliating. When you get over both those hurdles it gets better.

Well it is quite funny that she is going to loose "her" house.

It certainly helps to remind myself how she is behaving now, and has done in the past. As for losing her house, I''ve no doubt that she will quickly find someone else to look after her - which bothers me for a number of reasons, not least that I''ll have to continue supporting her financially, unless she''s silly enough to get married again!

I think it''ll be OK once she''s moved out. It''s just until then that her being around means she can still get under my skin and upset me. Just got to be strong like so many others!

(And if that doesn''t work, I''ll take your advice and threaten to beat her up! JOKING!!)

You say ''strong'' like some of the others. You would be surprised how ''unstrong'' they might be behind closed doors - or what they went through in private before showing the ''strong'' face to the world.

Just fix a goal and work to it and then the next and the next. And if the timescale isnt in your hands then focus on the goal and not the time it might take.

Good advice. Thanks!

Hi mnf ,
This will make you smile because my ex husband left me last year and moved into his new girlfriend''s very pink and fluffy flat. Now this man previously refused to have pink anywhere in our house nor even flowers on the curtains!! Apparently he was told off for burning one of her pink saucepans, as they were only for decoration ,the mind boggles.
To cap it all , he has been seen driving locally in her very pink Fiat 500 lol.

In April, he moved back in ( with no prior warning ) claiming he was homeless . I had to grin and bear it as his name is still on the deeds and we are going through the courts to sort out our finances ( how slow can they go ?) It is a truly horrible situation which our autistic teenage son struggles with too. His Dad is still with the pink girlfriend and guess what, he''s not here this weekend as he''s at the pink flat.

How do I deal with it ? I have great friends and family and I just keep busy . I don''t tell him what I''m doing and get glammed up and have some fun, too .

Finally, is he happy ? Well he has mounting debts and is smoking after quitting 20 years ago, when we met !! What does that tell you ? As previously stated, keep strong and the number of low times will start to get less and less.

The picture of him in a pink Fiat 500 made me smile and I don''t even know him!!

Thanks for your support. Will try to do my share of glamming up and having fun!

M

mnf wrote:

The picture of him in a pink Fiat 500 made me smile and I don''t even know him!!

I''m enjoying the image of him getting bawled-out for scorching a decorative pink saucepan!!