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  • Norfolkboy
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30 Aug 12 #352856 by Norfolkboy
Topic started by Norfolkboy
I left my wife at the beginning of May this year. She is living in the property that we have a mortgage on, along with my 20 year-old son. I am paying the mortgage, which put bluntly, is crippling me. I carried on with the mortgage because I felt desperately guilty about what I had done, and to give my wife a chance to work out what she wanted to do next, as well as the fact that she does not earn a big salary and would struggle to get anywhere near the payments. Notwithstanding her view when I left that she would never feel able to be emotionally involved with someone again, she has nevertheless met a man with whom she nowplans to live.

She has now said that she would like to make payments herself towards the mortgage. Superficially, this is attractive to me (there is no chance that we will get back together after all), BUT: the deal is that I allow her new partner to live in the house. The logic here is that he is well equipped to do building work and can do the necessary on the property to bring it up to a condition where it will achieve full market value. At that point, she would look to buy me out. The property is in joint names.

As I say, superficially attractive. However, I am concerned that in allowing this chap in to live at the house, AND having my wife make payments to the mortgage that I will reduce or even negate my rights of access to the house as well as compromising my entitlement in any final financial settlement.

Grateful for any advice about my next steps.

  • WhiteRose
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30 Aug 12 #352863 by WhiteRose
Reply from WhiteRose
Hi Norfolkboy & welcome to wiki ;)

TBH after some tome of leaving the home it will be ill advised for you to return even occasionally as it then is deemed her home and she has rights to privacy, regardless of new bloke moving in.

So firstly ensure you have all your stuff from the house as soon as you are able. best way to do this is arrange with her a suitable time and create an inventory of the items you''ve taken.

Secondly, the financial split is based on ''needs'' and if you have children their needs will be priority. Do you have dependent kids?

Have a read of this which should explain how financial splits of marital assets occur:

Also the usual situation is the ones who stay in the house pay the mortgage and bills.

I would say on the face of it the new bloke moving in and her taking on the mortgage payments should not affect any future financial split.

If he is willing to buy you out - even better - is the offer a reasonable one?


  • Norfolkboy
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30 Aug 12 #352874 by Norfolkboy
Reply from Norfolkboy
Thank you very much for your help. Much appreciated!

I don''t have any dependant children as such, although my son, 20, still lives at home - albeit off to the Army shortly. My daughter is 22 and lives/works out of the area.

My gut feel is to say ''no'' to the arrangement unless he is able to buy me out -and an interesting point about whoever living in the house paying the mortgage.

As a matter of interest; I''m a Forces veteran and I am paying my wife 50% of my Forces monthly pension. If this guy moves in with my wife does her entitlement to that 50% disappear?

Cheers once more!

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