A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

Getting out and about.

  • fallingapart
  • fallingapart's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
27 Mar 12 #320318 by fallingapart
Topic started by fallingapart
My stbx left almost 3 months ago to live with a very good mutual friend.

I have been getting on with my life and have had a few quite happy, settled days over the last couple of weeks.

One of my good friends brothers has recently moved home after living and working away and has offered to take me out as friends nothing more.

My mother cannot seem to grasp the "as friends" part and is concerned that its too soon to be seeing anyone even though we are not seeing each other if that makes sense.

What does everyone think? He is a nice guy, we went to senior school together and I''d like to get to know him again after all this time. I''m not planning on jumping straight into bed with him like my mother seems to think and just want to be able to have a nice evening out away from all the stress and rubbish that the divorce is causing.

He is fully aware of what is happening with the stbx and that we are divorcing.

Any advice would be gratefully recieved!

  • sun flower
  • sun flower's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
27 Mar 12 #320320 by sun flower
Reply from sun flower
We know we have grown up when we listen to ourselves and not our Mothers (dead or alive!). Do what you feel is right for you right now. (With the caveat that you protect yourself emotionally). If your friend understands that is all you can give at the moment and you both feel comfortable with it for now - then terrific.
Have fun where and when you can.

  • stukadivebomber
  • stukadivebomber's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
28 Mar 12 #320404 by stukadivebomber
Reply from stukadivebomber
Makes sense to me.

That''s what (I think) I''m looking for (not very hard) at the moment:S

Three months sounds a bit too soon, for me, but everybody is different.
If you can both take things at face value, what''s to lose?

There are a lot of ''nice guys'' around.
We''re not all looking for relationships, or ''the other''.

Go for it!
.....we will need a report, of course:blush:

  • fallingapart
  • fallingapart's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
28 Mar 12 #320413 by fallingapart
Reply from fallingapart
Thanks for your replys and support.

Am finding it hard to see the wood from the trees sometimes! I can see what my mum is saying, I''m vunerable emotionally but this is not some random person I have met over the internet! He used to come to our house often growing up and my parents know him and his sister well.

I have made it clear with regards to the position I am in at the moment and he is happy just to spend some time with me having a coffee and a chat.

At 30, I don''t want to feel like my life is over. I should be out having fun with my friends, not sitting indoors feeling sorry for myself. Yes I am getting divorced, a situation I never thought I would be faced with, but I am still (fairly) young and there is still time to meet someone great who will want to be with me for who I am and not until something better comes up.

The situation with my friend is very comfortable at the moment. We have lots and lots in common so there is always something to discuss! Its just nice to have somebody and something else to talk about rather than the bloody divorce all the time!

Thank you for your input...I will give an update as and when!!

  • Canuck425
  • Canuck425's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
28 Mar 12 #320526 by Canuck425
Reply from Canuck425
Go and have fun! Be honest and genuine in your interactions. Know that things might go faster than you want and someone might get hurt. You''re likely not ready for anything serious. You know this. All you can do is be honest to yourself and him!

Good luck!

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

The modern, convenient and affordable way to divorce.

No-Fault Divorce £179

We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 

Online Mediation £250

Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.

Consent Orders from £359

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.

Court Support £250

Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.