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Nine Months On

  • leftwondering
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02 Jun 12 #334733 by leftwondering
Topic started by leftwondering
Well, I''ve been through about 9 months of this crap.
At first drinking myself silly, total denial, then crying and heartbreaking about 30 years of marriage, child, life experiences...you name it. I thought we were solid when she dropped the bombshell.
Taken me a bit and a lot of pain and lonely nights of lying awake to crawl thus far out of this hole, reading through the posts and blogs of other members at 3.00 in the morning.

I just wanted her to come back and everything would be OK again.

Haway said that if your married partner goes to bed, kisses and cuddles with another, whispers sweet nothings, has sex and falls asleep in each other''s arms then THE MARRIAGE IS OVER.
That''s it.
All bets are off the table.
No good hanging on to the hope that there will be a bolt from the blue and they will suddenly love you and forget about their lover and all will be back to normal with the clock turned back.
That elephant will be there FOR EVER.

What''s done is done.

The moving finger writes and having writ moves on.

Ever so slowly this dawn is appearing to me now and the past ever so slowly slipping away.
I don''t wanna be over confident here.
But I can feel it coming....


  • rubytuesday
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02 Jun 12 #334734 by rubytuesday
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A little bit of dawn light appearing in the black night-sky is a sign of hope that eventually the night sky will become a clear blue sky.

Great post, LW and I''m delighted to see you growing stronger.


  • sun flower
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02 Jun 12 #334736 by sun flower
Reply from sun flower
Ruby has replied so eloquently I can''t add anything other than that this is really good news. I know you thought you would never get here and you have. There still may be ups and downs (and we hope for only ups) but now you know what other wikis have said is true...it will get better. Have a great bank holiday weekend.

  • afonleas
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02 Jun 12 #334743 by afonleas
Reply from afonleas
LW what a post,
Felt the nights were horrendous kept imagining him in bed and havin sex with her and torturing myself,
He did not want to sleep with me,he did not want to make love to me,he did not want to laugh with me and he did not want to spend the rest of his life with me,but it was alright for me to cook for him ,clean for him,wash his stinkies and for me to love him not knowing what he was doing.
All the while i''m livin in my own bubble going to work thinking all is ok
but it''s not while i''m on nights he is paying his ***** a visit and this was going on for months all unbeknown to me.
30years last xmas eve not all good but not all bad,best thing came from it are 2 amazing daughters who despise thier father and r my life,7mths on i still feel the pain but having more eureka moments now and feel a lot stronger,they hurt us once why should we allow them the privilige to keep doing it.Sorry we all know grass is not greener and they can never be truly happy but thier choice at first would have done anything to get him back,but not now,how can you love someone who has constantly betrayed you you cannot.
We are all worth more than that and okay we have many rivers to cross and mountains to climb but we will, as for rivers i cried enough of those and my heart felt i had walked up a whole range of mountains biti''m still here and slowly movin forward ok only slowly.
There is a saying that what you don''t know cannot hurt you,well what a load of ballony course it has hurt us these despicable people are only thinking of thierselves not the fallout of their actions but thankfully we can make the choice of not havin them in our lives which is what most of us are now doing although it hurts in the process but we are all still here to live another day and to live a better life with complete honesty.
Luv to all

  • Marshy_
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02 Jun 12 #334744 by Marshy_
Reply from Marshy_
Hi LW.

leftwondering wrote:

Ever so slowly this dawn is appearing to me now and the past ever so slowly slipping away.
I don''t wanna be over confident here.
But I can feel it coming....LW

I know your story and I know how you have suffered. But I always knew that you would get here. I know you didnt agree with me at the time. And I could see that you were destroyed by what happened to you.

Some have the gradual realisation. Some climb a step. I climbed a step. You on the other hand had a slow dawn.

But hopefully you will believe me when I say to you, you will get past this. You will learn that there is a life after her and I hope that you will learn that at our age, there is a life ahead for us.

Welcolm to your new life that is awaiting you. C.

  • freefalling
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03 Jun 12 #334806 by freefalling
Reply from freefalling
HAWAY''s right. Had she have come back, you would''ve been living a different kind of hell. A new dawn is breaking for you perhaps because you are realising that you are worthy of more and she is no longer worthy of you. Like Marshy said, there is a new life waiting for you and hopefully a more fulfilled, loving and happier one. Take care

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