We've been separated since Feb this year. Have had a couple of nasty episodes but have remained amicable most of the time. Have 2 children aged 7 & 3 and have joint mortgage. "Ex" has always paid maintenance, no probs there.
We looked at transfer of ownership but even though I've been paying the mortgage on my own I can't afford it on paper (£200k mortgage) and my mortgage company will not consider this and will not consider my parents as guarantors.
So now "ex" has suggested we get a Separation Agreement. We have no other assets other than the house. I have a small pension but he's not interested in that. He is asking that he has £11,000 which would be roughly his share of equity in the house if we were to sell the house. He said he would not pursue this amount and this would only be if we sold the house. We both have existing personal debt (me £5k, him £3k). As he is putting his life on hold (as he put it!) by having his name remain on the mortgage he has asked something else. He wants me to ask my mum and dad to get a personal loan of £9k over 5 years, so that we can both pay off our debts and both live a bit more comfortably. He said he would pay £150 a month towards this loan (he currently pays over £300 on his debts) on top of child maintenance so in effect pay me £550 a month which will be written into SA. He thinks this is a reasonable request but something about it doesn't sit right to me. I don't think my parents would agree to it well not for his benefit anyway as they can't stand him but its another financial link to him for a few years.
I did think about whether I could scrape together £3k for him to pay off his debts and he still pay me what he said he is going to pay me because the £5k of personal debt I've got was matrimonal debt.
The only option I can see that is left is to sell the house and just start afresh which for me means renting as I'd never get a mortgage on my single income.
Firstly can you afford to pay the mortgage at the moment? If you can id say stear well clear of getting into further financial arrangements with your ex. This will only complicate matters for you. At the end of the day you are tying to tie up everything so you can start again...
As there are children in the house in cases like this is extremely common for you to remain in the FMH with the children for their safety. Courts will look at their care primarily. In many situations like this you draft a Consent Order to state you and the kids remain in the house till they reach adulthood (19). He would receive a share ofr the equity in the house after they are 19, or you buy him out.
Everything about it was not sitting comfortably with me. We are getting on OK at the moment but I think he tries to manipulate me sometimes.
Yes I can afford my mortgage because I work full time and earn a decent wage but not enough to on paper to take on my current mortgage which is just crazy really but thats the way it goes.
I spoke to my solicitor yesterday who basically reiterated what you said. She recommended that I start divorce proceedings rather than enter into a SA as I am 100% sure that I do not want to be with him again.