why do solicitors cause trouble

hi my gripe is my x2b's solicitor we are due at mediation to sort out her contact with our son. we tried for weeks through solicitors letters to sort it out as she was demanding one set of terms and our son wanted some thing different which i was putting forward as an alternative, at first the x2b was saying it was not our sons thinking but mine then she took him out last saturday and spoke to him and understood i had only been putting forward what he wanted, so over the weekend we talked and managed to come to an agreement that both she and our son liked, we said we would still go to a session of mediation just to see we ha dcovered everything, then monday night she called to say she had spoken to her solicitor who has adviced her to foreget any agreement we reached and to go to mediation and court if neede to get her original demands met, and that she should not consider what our son wants but just consider her self.

Makes me mad that just as we get talking and sorting things amicably her sol buts in and putts us back to square 1.

I'm sure that those solicitors whom grace us with their presence on this site will quite rightly say that they only represent and deliver what their client wants… In the real world however their livelihood depends on business from us and legal aid (legal services commission).. Far be it for me to cast doubt over a solicitors intentions when they advise that you ignore your offspring in favour of sticking to your original plan where they would stand to make more money… Call me cynical if you like…

I read in some Family Law book that the law changed "access" to "contact" and the contact is NOT for the parent bit for the child to have contact with the parent.

MarkP, if you look up on the web or in a reference library Family Law and contact the procedure is explained. The law says that young children benefit from contact with both parents and it is to be encouraged.

My ex's sols have forbidden me from discussing all issues. (Despite that thier first letter asked to do things amicably)....

Bottom line. WONGA!

Plain and simple. I share my home with soon2bx, yesterday he gave me a verbal list for Asda, today his sol writes to say to cease communication. Basically, if I can only communicate with my husband via her, then she can bill him her costs involved.

So does that mean he'll be sending the shopping list via his sol then?


mark, your wife consulted her sol about the issue on Monday so perhaps she wasn't happy with what she had agreed and was looking for a way out .

Also I would be surprised if she was actually told not to consider what her son wants and just to consider herself. I suspect there is some selective hearing or reporting going on here.

Sera,

That solicitor sounds way off line! The courts encourage contact between the parties and ask if mediation has been attempted. You could ask that solicitor why you must cease communication with your xtb. If you take a telephone message for him what are you supposed to do, post it to his solicitor?

Hmmm.... the thread that seems to run through all this, and I have heard this sort of thing time after time:

"My solicitor told me I mustn't...." "The ex's solicitor has forbidden me to ....." you get the sort of thing.

Have we really lost sight of the basics that badly? The solicitor ADVISES. The client INSTRUCTS. He who pays the piper calls the tune. If the client says "Jump" the solicitor says "How high?"

The solicitor does not tell people what to do. The client makes those decisions. He (or she) accepts, or rejects, the advice he/she is paying for.

The solicitor does not have some magic stranglehold over his client. Hope this helps!

Will C