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"I finally feel that I have come to the end"

  • thomoswt
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30 May 13 #395373 by thomoswt
Topic started by thomoswt
Hi folks,

It is almost 5 years since I joined Wiki and began a post with the same title.

At the time the site was in its infancy and was dealing with an ever growing community, I think that the membership was around 5000 and growing very fast.

I remember that it was a little like the wild west on here, and I was at the time one of the unruly ones that needed a lot of guidance and support.

Wiki was for a period the focal point of my world, not particularly for the "Legal Guidance" etc that is now so well documented and controlled but for moral support and a sense that I was not alone with my feelings of loss and devastation.

The people here were amazing and there was a true feeling that each new member was welcomed and cared for by the community.

I certainly benefited from the virtual friends that I met here and the few I met in person, thank you all.

I truly DID feel that I had come to the end and posted a thread with that title, I could not have imagined the response it drew.

I seem to recall that it was the first to have over 1000 hits and so many comments.

The theme was controversial at the time and as I say things were different then.

The site was drawing a lot of attention and the moderators were finding there feet, no real structure, rules or continuity, different now I see, much more commercialised now.

Any way I just wanted to say hi to all that remember me and to those who don''t hi as well.

I did feel that "I had come to the end" when I joined here and was a complete mess but now it is five years on and I am still around and feeling strong.

To those of you that are in dis-spare at the moment please be aware that there is a new life out there for us all no matter what your circumstances are.

Be strong when you can and cry when you want and use the resources that you know you have inside you and the helps that you can glean from where ever you can, wiki included.

There is life after divorce/separation/split, call it what you will, I know, cos I got me one and if I can anyone can!

Work at it and help each other.

Be good be happy.

Thomo. x

  • sun flower
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31 May 13 #395451 by sun flower
Reply from sun flower
thomo - great and much appreciated to get your feed back - because right now - almost 3 years since separation - I wonder if I will ever have a day without grief - I don''t wail every day anymmore - but I miss my family unit so very much and still feel cheated by his hypocricy ( he had very religious upbringing and so called values). The fall out re friends and ''family'' has been enormous. Thank you for telling me (us) that you are ok and thriving. Delighted to hear it.:)

  • Shezi
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31 May 13 #395455 by Shezi
Reply from Shezi
I remember you well Thomo - lovely of you to update us. I do wonder from time to time what became of everyone.

The greatest thing to come out of support, for me, is personal strength... both for the supported and the supporter. It''s a great community, yes it''s grown hugely but remember that we are all still people behind the posts. This is what was truly enjoyable about the wikimeets - to make contact with a human being who understands in real time, is amazing.

Very happy to hear that you are feeling strong. Keep onward and keep upward, Thomo.


  • stukadivebomber
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31 May 13 #395457 by stukadivebomber
Reply from stukadivebomber

It''s always good to hear from people who have come out the other side.
Thank you.
Glad you''re enjoying the ''new you''!

A couple of your comments I think I need to steal, so I can use them in the future :)

Wiki was for a period the focal point of my world, .... for moral support and a sense that I was not alone with my feelings of loss and devastation.

I was totally unprepared for the lonely vacuum that Bombshell Day threw at me.

I certainly benefited from the virtual friends that I met here and the few I met in person, thank you all.

The help/support is a two way thing, it gives both parties a degree of focus.

Wish you well

  • freeeee
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  • User is blocked
01 Jun 13 #395468 by freeeee
Reply from freeeee

It was great to read....

I am now deff. DIVORCED....


It still did not stop me from being GUTTED when letter arrived thru door....

I have been reading my Posts, & the brill response to them....

I still can not get over the feeling of intense SHAME & EMBARRASSMENT that I could not keep my Marriage together......

Re reading my POSTS are so .....

I can not believe that in the cold light of day (well OK 00.13hrs)

I wrote them....
I needed to express my feelings & pour my heart out........

Tomorrow I will re read this & think OMG......

It is amazing to discover who your friends are....

Who of your brothers & sisters really give a t+++:(:(:(

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