Stressed because I got asked out

It seems to me he is a good friend and as I remember from years back I had a few male ''friends''. I was quite happy with that but then others would acuse us of something going on when all we were doing was sharing a taxi or whatever!

I agree with the post before mine, don''t go on a date unless you feel excited about it and have butterflies in your tummy! He obviously wants more and you don''t.

A while back I was asked out for a lunch date by a man who although the same age as me looked a lot older! I said okay (as had nothing better to do at the time) but the next morning I cancelled. I made the excuse that I had to get back to feed my cats as had been away a few days (true). I don''t regret it, he wasn''t a friend just some random guy but there was absolutely no attraction whatsoever on my part. He probably thought all his Christmases had come at once!

All I can suggest is you compromise and say you will go to the local cafe/bar for coffee/drink and quote, "Yes, it''s good to go out for a chin wag with friends!

I am very thankful of your replies any I felt flattered he asked me out as I am quite a bit older than him.

I think it''s a good idea to tone it down a bit and meet him for lunch not at the gym we have had coffee there before and chatted.

It''s not a case of me not being excited about the prospect it is just I never thought I would be in this position again the dating scene is very different from when I was a young woman. You met the person locally etc now all my single friends are internet dating some appear addicted to it and they seem to bet meeting some frogs and lying little toads

Whereas I have known him a long time he has always been polite when I told him I had a stalker at the garden center not far from my gym who would not take no for an answer,he took me there and we walked round together until the stalker man realised I was with someone .... Really what I should have done is explain to the stalker I only wanted advice on getting rid of moss in my lawn I was not flirting buti don''t know if any of you have found this but your wedding bands overed you some protection from unwanted advance it comes as a shock to be considered attractive by members of the oppersite sex.

Oh and then there is the gym politics ... Newly single women are considered a threat by insecure wives and watching the antics of some ladies there are lots of affairs ( mainly by the tennis lot due to the social side of the game )

You can''t talk to a man at gym unless your having an affair with him seems to be the general attitude of the members which is not the case
A good friend (but compulsive dater) says you only live once and I agree with that.

My two major hobbies are gym and gardening so as I am a member if RHS at wisley I am going to suggest we go to the allotments and trial gardens there and grab lunch there so hardly a proper date certainly not high heel shoes more walking boots but there is a lot to do there very beautiful displays it changed weekly now he might see a different me I always feel happy there especially at the allotment and the trial garden.

Anyway when I see him next rather than go bright red as I am a bit shy I will suggest a day there he''s a scientific analyser on a shift system so hopefully within the week. I won''t get glammed up because walking boots are just not flattering but there are some beautiful areas you can just sit and have a coffee hopefully he will go for that. At least I have the benefit of knowing he always talks to me when he sees me at the gym and won''t have to discuss my divorce with him, which would be very off putting.

I should have given him my telephone number but I practically ran away when he asked me out I couldn''t leave quick enough :/ ho him.

I am very thankful of your replies any I felt flattered he asked me out as I am quite a bit older than him.

I think it''s a good idea to tone it down a bit and meet him for lunch not at the gym we have had coffee there before and chatted.

It''s not a case of me not being excited about the prospect it is just I never thought I would be in this position again the dating scene is very different from when I was a young woman. You met the person locally etc now all my single friends are internet dating some appear addicted to it and they seem to bet meeting some frogs and lying little toads

Whereas I have known him a long time he has always been polite when I told him I had a stalker at the garden center not far from my gym who would not take no for an answer,he took me there and we walked round together until the stalker man realised I was with someone .... Really what I should have done is explain to the stalker I only wanted advice on getting rid of moss in my lawn I was not flirting buti don''t know if any of you have found this but your wedding bands overed you some protection from unwanted advance it comes as a shock to be considered attractive by members of the oppersite sex.

Oh and then there is the gym politics ... Newly single women are considered a threat by insecure wives and watching the antics of some ladies there are lots of affairs ( mainly by the tennis lot due to the social side of the game )

You can''t talk to a man at gym unless your having an affair with him seems to be the general attitude of the members which is not the case
A good friend (but compulsive dater) says you only live once and I agree with that.

My two major hobbies are gym and gardening so as I am a member if RHS at wisley I am going to suggest we go to the allotments and trial gardens there and grab lunch there so hardly a proper date certainly not high heel shoes more walking boots but there is a lot to do there very beautiful displays it changed weekly now he might see a different me I always feel happy there especially at the allotment and the trial garden.

Anyway when I see him next rather than go bright red as I am a bit shy I will suggest a day there he''s a scientific analyser on a shift system so hopefully within the week. I won''t get glammed up because walking boots are just not flattering but there are some beautiful areas you can just sit and have a coffee hopefully he will go for that. At least I have the benefit of knowing he always talks to me when he sees me at the gym and won''t have to discuss my divorce with him, which would be very off putting.

I should have given him my telephone number but I practically ran away when he asked me out I couldn''t leave quick enough :/ ho him.

Hey Sulky P,
That sounds great! Am happy and excited for you! ,
I guess what I was trying to say is, as people of divorce we are very vulnerable, hugely vulnerable big time, emotionally vulnerable so only date when YOU feel ready.

However, if this is how you feel, then go for it!
Wish you the best
PG xxxx

Hey party pants! the walk in the gardens sounds like the perfect date to me - it''s the sort of thing you would do with a friend, expectations are low, you''re outdoors doing something you enjoy and can just talk. It doesn''t have to be a ''date'' - take it easy and try to enjoy it without worrying.

And if nearer the time you don''t feel up to it, take a rain check. It''s not the end of the world.

(I don''t know if you have seen but the last few replies I have written are all about how I don''t understand how people can seem to want to go out of the frying pan and into the fire, but your situation and suggested next step sounds pretty good to me. But what do I know?)

Have fun!

PARTY PANTS, I like it! That''s much better! X

Yes I should change my name lol probably to thunder pants.

Well I hope the weather stays nice today I am packing a picnic and were off to Wisley Gardens shortly I am really looking forward to it