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  • lrobbins
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24 Aug 15 #465900 by lrobbins
Topic started by lrobbins
After getting divorced I was faced with analysis paralysis..it''s a whole new world but which way do I turn? I had to take care of 2 kids 80% of the time, jump start a career that had faltered due to the dot com bubble crash, figure out a whole host of decisions regarding applying for a mortgage on my own to getting a car lease and reestablishing credit.

It can seem overwhelming and paralyzing. My advice is to take it one step at a time, one project at a time. Manageable goals instead of huge obstacles.

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  • AngieP
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25 Aug 15 #465908 by AngieP
Reply from AngieP
Hi IRobbins

For me the analysis paralysis was working out what had gone so badly wrong in the relationship. Emerging from that I now have the energy to move forward with my life. Very aware of importance of making best possible decisions re housing, finances, work etc. As for dating I think I would still doubt my own judgement. Know I am responsible for my own choices and find that trying to be positive brings its own rewards. Have definitely learnt lessons from this unwanted and awful experience. Feel that I am now through the worst and setting out on a different path in life than that I envisaged -scary but exciting and empowering.

  • afonleas
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25 Aug 15 #465909 by afonleas
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I have never heard this expression before,but I guess I know roughly what it means.
I too spent time wondering what went wrong,I never analysed it,I was too busy getting on with it.At the end of the day,there was a time in our Ex''s life that they felt it ok to disrespect us,so what could analysis tell me about that?
Although my life is very different,it is still much the same,so I have a lot to be thankful for,but I know than many others lives change completely,some for the good and some for the worse,but it''s up to the individual how they deal with things.

I suppose In Britain we still have that"stiff upper lip",and we don''t talk to therapists much,maybe that''s right or wrong I don''t know,but one thing I do know everybody''s journey is differant,I personally have not had the need to speak to them,I know that the Nhs does offer counselling,but when your allocated time is finished you have to pay privately,that then brings further problems regarding finance.
I have found that the support I have found through my friends and family has sustained me,but the support and friendship I have received from fellow Wiki ''s(some virtual) is what taught me many lessons,showed me my strengths also,enough to come through divorce and to smile again.....
To those people,and they know who they are,I will always be indebted to you,and sincere Thanks

Afon x

  • AngieP
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25 Aug 15 #465910 by AngieP
Reply from AngieP
You are so right Afon -everyone''s journey is different. Whilst I spent a lot of time analysing what went wrong, mainly by reading, thinking and a little counselling I feel I had to do that in order to be able to move forward. I can clearly see that now as that is the type of person I am. Having worked through things now frees me to get on with the rest of my life and put the past where it belongs. Like you I will be eternally grateful to Wiki members (yourself included :)for their wise words and support. What I understand IRobbins to be saying is that decisions to be made as an independent person can be paralysing. I may be wrong but I think (and hope) that personally speaking decisions and choices to be made will be nowhere near as paralysing as coming to terms with the end of the relationship and support from friends and family will help to see me through. I understand your point about use of therapists here in UK Afon -invaluable to me during most difficult times but now hopefully have found the strength I need to make the right decisions for me.

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