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Cutting Ties with the Past

Cutting Ties with the Past
Written by
Jackie Walker

If you were about to set sail across the ocean how far would you get by keeping the stern rope attached to the buoy? Often that's exactly what we are doing with people and situations, and the ties are invisible cords.  The effect of these invisible cords is such that it's like trying to fill a bath with water without the plug in.  And that's not only a helluva waste of water but of energy.

To cut ties with people and situations we have to consciously bring them to the surface and forgive so that we can let go.  That's all there is to it, so why is it so difficult to do? Firstly we often can't see the reason to forgive someone their behaviour.  Secondly if we forgive someone we can be afraid that we are giving in.  Third, for some strange reason there is sometimes a benefit to keeping hold of the hurt that we feel inside.


The reason we would want to do it is simple - cutting the invisible cord which is keeping you attached to someone or something will release you and the other person to get on with your lives.  It might mean that the person can now move out of your life completely, or it might be that you then have the opportunity of creating a new relationship with them based on a better intention and focus.

That'd be quite handy sometimes wouldn't it?  Once you aren't harbouring negative thoughts about someone, then they are just someone you know.

If there is fear about giving in to someone then it’s time for you to look at the reason you need to be right.  The situation is now in the past.  Even if it only happened five minutes ago, that is in the past.  We have the opportunity of starting afresh every second of our lives. Nothing will change the past, but we do have the option of changing how we feel about the past.  The thought of giving in or getting even is causing you more harm than it’s causing the other person.  They have their own issues to deal and you choosing to leave theirs alone is going to allow you both to make new decisions about how and who to be.

If you were able to decide when the time was right now to make that change of feeling, do you see that you have more choices available to you?


The need to hold onto the feeling lest it cause you to forget is worthy of looking at.  What would you do if you knew already that you have no need to remember the problem, just the lesson that you learned.  What if that lesson was now framed in a positive manner and not a negative one.  By that I mean ‘I can’t trust men/women’ could be turned round to ‘I will trust myself’ or ‘s/he will never hurt me again’ could be turned round to ‘I will take care of myself properly now and make sure I’m aware of situations I’m getting into’

To cut ties with negative emotions around our historic experiences is one of the most powerful methods of moving forward, setting sail and exploring new ground.

Have you found this useful? What will you let go of today to enable you to realise something new tomorrow.


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