What do you do when you look in the mirror? Do you check for faults or do confirm to yourself how attractive you are? According to Mike ‘Freddie’ Gordon if you fall into the former category and you check for faults, then the chances are you’re female and looking for things to repair. If the latter, chances are you are male seeking confirmation you’re good looking.
The mirror example above is just one example Mike gives to illustrate the difference between the sexes. Another is to ask why handbags and shoes are so important to women. (Apparently we women like to dress according to our mood - how we feel. Men dress according to how they impress.)
How many of us fall into the trap of thinking that, just because our partner loves us, they will behave in certain ways – our ways, and we wonder why that leads to frustration, anger and relationship breakdown? How much better would it be if you had a better understanding of our differences and took time to understand and respect each other’s different way of relating and communicating so that our love thrives, not dies.
We all know the sexes are very different – but have you ever stopped to really consider what a profound impact it would have to learn new insights into the habits and differences of our partners? If you understood just why you (or your partner) are driven to buy a new pair of shoes or handbag every week, and your partner (or you) spends a small fortune on that old heap in the garage, might you both be able to relax with the differences between you, instead of resisting them?
The point which Mike makes in the shoe and mirror examples above is that if we take the time to respect one another rather than becoming demanding or resentful, judgemental and intolerant, relationships can be turned around – and when relationships really work, they can be magical.
But with males and female being so complicated, it’s hardly surprising many of us fail at the first hurdle to understand why we lose that loving feeling for our partners and come from a place of blame instead of creating (or re-creating) the loving relationships we all want and need.
But relationships don’t have to be a struggle: it’s only when we don’t understand one another that resistance, resentment and conflict rear their ugly head. When did you last appreciate that your spouse really does come from a different planet and that’s who they are? When did you last recognise the differences and explore them?
When we realise we come from different planets then we can relax and co-operate with the differences instead of resisting them or trying to change them. When we are aware of the differences – indeed, that we are supposed to be different – we stop becoming frustrated with each other or try to make the other more like us.
In our next live event in London at Greatvine.com HQ Breakup Angels has invited Mike Gordon (forensic accountant and partner at Harmony House) to speak in his popular ‘Men are from Marylebone, Women are from Waterloo’ presentation. Learn more about how you can recognise and explore the differences between the sexes to enable you to create more fulfilling relationships and understanding of the opposite sex.
Mike reminds us that whilst we are supposed to be different, we also can benefit by unlearning a lot of the past – all those beliefs and values which have been instilled in our upbringing, all the past experiences and influences of friends which don’t necessarily serve us well can be turned around if we want them to.
Q: Who is this event for? A: For everyone: Single, Married, Divorced, Living Together. The important thing is that you wish to learn more about the differences between the sexes and how a deeper understanding can improve all our relationships. You won't need to share your story and there will be opportunity to ask questions of Mike and other Breakup Angels and Greatvine.com experts present. Q: How much will it cost me? The event is FREE courtesy of Greatvine.com who have kindly loaned us their venue for the event. Reserve your place Come and join us for 'Men are from Marylebone, Women are from Waterloo’ at Greatvine.com* lofty headquarters in London N1 (7 mins Old Street tube) at 6.30 pm – 8.30pm on Tuesday 16 February (date amended*). Admission is free. Places are limited – please register by visiting the link to the event above.
© Copyright Kirsten Gronning 2009. All rights reserved worldwide.