Magazine - Relationships

Regular writer for Wikizine, Suzy Miller, asks: ' Why do men marry the woman they see and women marry the man they want him to become?' Peter Andre complaining that Jordon likes to go out and party is bizarre not so much because he mistook her for living the life of a quiet spinster when he met her in the jungle, but because he is behaving out of type for most men.  

Judgement is one of the most painful and damaging “miasms” of the human mind, but when we judge we judge ourselves first. Our love relationship is absolutely our truest mirror, but our struggles are ultimately with ourselves and not our partners.

One of the biggest emotions people feel following a divorce is a sense of failure. Why is this? Why do we think we have failed if we can’t live with the same person forever? People change, lifestyles change. You could look at it a different way - deciding not to be together is not failing; it is evolving. In years gone by getting divorced was scandalous but times have changed and a huge percentage of marriages end in divorce. 

People change, have you? Knowing that divorce is just the symptom and not the cause can give great relief. Recognise how you got into this situation and what you can do about - either to get over it, make it flow more smoothly, or to stop it.

Regular writer, Jackie Walker, offers an insight into the effects of PTSD on relationships. I’ve just returned from a week in the south of France where I was working as part of a new charity Talking2Minds. The charity helps ex servicemen and women and those from other uniformed services – police, fire, ambulance etc get rid of their symptoms of PTSD in just 3 days. 

No one gets married with the intention of divorcing. That would be madness. But the fact is that some 3000 people divorce each week in the UK. That’s epidemic proportions. If 3000 people a week were contracting measles there would be a public outcry and the government would step in to begin an immunisation programme immediately. 

Our new regular contributor, Annie O'Neill, writes on the subject of Domestic Abuse. The other day I overheard someone saying they couldn’t understand why women 'put up with' domestic violence. "If it was me", she said, "I would be out of the door the minute he laid a hand on me". Well it's not always that easy and her comment inspired me to write this article.