When her marriage ended Ruth Langford, 43, had such cripplingly low confidence that she could barely leave the house. But thanks to the support of new friends going through the same trauma, she’s developed a sense of self-esteem.
“My marriage was so unhappy, it left me feeling a failure and utterly worthless. By the time we separated in 2007, I had such bad anxiety attacks that a trip to the corner shop left me shaking. The trauma of divorce destroyed what little self-respect I had left, as the guilt of putting my daughters, Kayleigh, now 20, and Imogen 14, through so much upheaval was unbearable.
It was a terribly lonely time. Then I came across Wikivorce, an online support group of people going through separation and divorce. As I read the blogs, I felt the darkness lift a little. Everyone was so welcoming and friendly, offering fantastic advice, moral support, or a comment that made me laugh. I realised desolation was normal for someone in my situation, and started visiting the site regularly. When people responded positively to what I posted, I started to feel better about myself. As the other members made progress with their lives, I started to believe that I too would make it through this crisis.
As I got more involved I was asked to volunteer to help run the chat room. That planted a small seed of self-belief in me, and I became so interested in the legal aspects of divorce that I decided to study for a qualification in family law. The more I learnt, the better I could support other members, and the stronger my self- confidence grew. Three years later, I was at a Wikivorce informal get-together when I met Nick, who is also divorced. We got on so well that afterwards we started emailing, and seeing each other whenever we could. Our relationship grew stronger and we decided to give marriage another shot.
We had a beautiful, intimate wedding last December, with my girls and his son as our witnesses. I was so low when I got divorced that I could never imagine building a happy new life. It’s thanks to all the support I got from other people going through the same thing that I managed to heal my insecurities and start again. I’m not afraid of the future anymore.”
Published in Good Housekeeping November 2013 - An article about our very own Wikivorce Community Manager rubytuesday (aka Ruth Langford).
Ruth qualified as a Family Law Paralegal, started her own company with her husband Nick and together they have written a book The Family Law A to Z - available to buy on Amazon
Thank you to Moya Sarner of Good Housekeeping for allowing us to publish this. http://www.goodhousekeeping.co.uk/
