Under a new process called 'collaborative law', each of you has your own specially trained family lawyer and agree to work together to resolve the issues between you without needing to go to court. This happens through a series of meetings between all four of you.
This process is generally suited to couples who can still communicate and be civil with one another. To find out more about this option and to find a collaborative family lawyer in your area see the Resolution website.
I tried to get my wife to come with me to Relate but she won't admit there's a problem. For my own sanity, I had to leave. I made an appointment with a solicitor to talk through what the grounds for divorce might be and how long the whole process might take. He said, provided my wife agreed, we could go for two years' separation. To sort things out more quickly, another possibility would be unreasonable behaviour but I don't want this to get aggressive. We have children, so we need to stay on talking terms.'